Worst Jokes Ever
Q. What's the difference between a CEO and a deer?
A. You don't normally fuck the deer after you've shot it.
I was confused when they asked me, "Do you know how to fly a plane?" Then, when I said, "No," they said, "Perfect!"
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? A Drive-Thru.
What’s a 9/11 victim’s least favorite song?
Drowning Pool - Bodies.
If you have a friend that will not leave you alone about something, just simply tell them: "If you watch something, have you ever thought that you're in a movie when you watch a movie?"
A good woman is like a good cup of coffee, especially when it’s strong and hot with a little bit of cream in it.
Michael Jackson was on a boat with a bunch of children. The boat captain comes up to him and says, "Michael, we've come into some trouble and the boat is about to sink. We need to get off the boat right now." "But what about the children?" The captain said, "F*** them." Michael Jackson responded, "Is there enough time?"
What do you call a white girl with a yeast infection? A cracker with cheese.
When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.
They call me Mr. Distracted, truly a spastic. Can't talk to my folks cause they say I'm pro- problematic. Really fantastic. Can't focus unless I take meds then it's magic. My brain is like traffic, always fucking active. But never at the right time, pretty fucking tragic it happens.
What's 6 plus 7?
67.
You're so slow, the sped kid is your tutor.
Yo mama must be a giant, 'cause my Mini P.E.K.K.A. goes berserk on her!
Your mum is a Rune Giant.
Why is Ahmed gay? Because he created 9/11. Hahahahahahahhahahahahaa
Your hairline is so far back, even the Flintstones knew of it.
USA: "Never forget 9/11."
Brits: "What happened on the 9th of November?"
World leaders are so old, they've got nostalgia for the Cambrian explosion.
Cheer for fun on the telephone and singing, "We are family!" Even then, your dad, really, he's fat, just like your dad. And your mom's fat ass, b**** ass, looking like an Oompa Loompa self, looking like an ugly.
How do you torture an autistic dude? Start a staring contest.