Worst Jokes Ever
Why do old people swallow popcorn kernels?
To make their cremation more entertaining when they die.
What disease do you get from shoving a dirty, rusty piece of metal up your ass? Tetanus.
What’s one good thing about pedophiles?
They drive slow in school zones.
Why does Michael Jackson avoid Pepsi? They gave him a hot one.
Who is the new heterosexual Michael Joseph Jackson (pedophile)?
R. Kelly.
How many white police officers does it take to push an African-American gentleman down the stairs?
Push?! He fell...
What’s the best kind of candy to offer at a Pride parade?
Skittles.
I dated a lot of girls before I married my wife. I was living with one of them when I arrived home one day to find her bags packed and next to the door. I asked her, "Baby, what's going on?" She said, "I'm leaving you."
"But why?" I replied.
"Because you're a pedophile!" she answered.
"That's a pretty big word for a six-year-old," I said.
What does Michael Jackson like?
Teabags.
Q: How do you stop babies from being conceived through incest?
A: Cum on your cousin's face.
Which scary movie did the bear refuse to watch?
The Bear Witch Project.
What is an example of poor management? A prostitute getting pregnant.
What do you call a man with a Johnny on his nose? Fuck nose.
Q. What's the difference between an assassinated Healthcare CEO and Old Yeller?
A. I cried when they shot Old Yeller.
What do a plastic bag and Jeffery Epstein have in common?
They're both dangerous to children.
Why does Michael Jackson like football, baseball, and tennis? Because of the "balls".
The girl asks her boyfriend, "Are you jealous of my heart?"
He says, "No."
She says, "Because it's pumping in me and you're not."
What does Michael Jackson say when he grabs his crotch? I never noticed that before.
What does Michael Jackson say when he gets hard? Ow!
What is Michael Jackson's favorite movie?
The Boy in the Plastic Bubble? Why? The boy who was in the bubble.