Worst Jokes Ever
World leaders are so old, they've got nostalgia for the Cambrian explosion.
Cheer for fun on the telephone and singing, "We are family!" Even then, your dad, really, he's fat, just like your dad. And your mom's fat ass, b**** ass, looking like an Oompa Loompa self, looking like an ugly.
How do you torture an autistic dude? Start a staring contest.
When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.
Ahmed is "bombuni guisisni" and Marcus is "bombardilo crocodilo" because Ahmed was late to the plane party and Marcus was first.
What do you call an Irish lesbian? A gay lick.
My face when “Free Palestine” wasn’t a sales deal.
What do Israel and Epstein have in common?
"Look at that, time to blow up some kids."
What kind of motorcycle do women ride? A menstrual cycle.
What do masturbation and brain damage have in common? After a few strokes, there’s no going back.
What is the speed limit for sex? 68, because if you go any faster, you’ll have to turn around.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? Apples get picked. Orphans don't.
Why is it so hard to find people defending suicide in any discussion?
Because they are really committed to their cause.
Why was the two-piece swimsuit invented?
To separate the meat section from the dairy section.
What do masturbation and brain damage have in common? After a few strokes, there’s no going back.
Why is reverse cowgirl illegal in Alabama? Because you should never turn your back on family.
What do you call a blonde girl standing on her hands?
A brunette with bad breath.
How do you flatten curves?
With an abortion.
What do Rihanna and a DJ have in common?
They know how to get a beat down.
What does a one-night stand have in common with earthquakes? You never know how long they'll last.