Worst Jokes Ever
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"Father replied, "I don't know, son. I'm still paying."
Anal intercourse is for assholes.
When your crush walks in class, but you're homeschooled...
Why do lesbians get their belly button pierced?
So they have a place to hang the air freshener.
Why do men fart louder than women?
Because women can’t keep their mouth shut to build up any pressure.
The media's relationship with Hillary is just like Bill's relationship with Hillary. The relationship is unwanted and forced, and they'll move on to the next person any chance they get.
I have a joke about suicide, but I’ll just let it hang.
What's the difference between a hipster and a hockey player? A hockey player changes his pads every third period.
If you think I would joke about Alzheimer's, forget it.
Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
So you can tell them apart from the feminists.
How does Osama feed his child? "Here comes the airplane, here comes another one."
Why don't amputees ever get cold? They're always wearing their stump warmers.
What is the first thing you would do if you woke up as a woman?
"Probably the dishes."
Did you know that water is wet?
How much semen can a gay man hold? A buttload.
How do you stop a woman from choking?
Back up an inch.
What did one gay sperm say to the other? "You think we’ll find the egg and all this shit?"
A patient walked into a psychiatrist's office last week wrapped in nothing but Saran Wrap. The psychiatrist said, "I can clearly see your nuts."
A black n***a crashes a neighborhood barbecue, bragging about his 'hood credentials' while hogging all the ribs and collard greens. The host calls him out, 'Yo, pay up or get out. Ain't no freebies here.' He laughs it off, 'Man, I run this block!' But the host's burly brother, who's been grilling the whole time, snarls, 'Wrong, fool. Time to settle the score.' He pins him against the picnic table, wraps a chain leash around his neck from the dog run, edges him with a vibrating basting brush slathered in hot sauce, and then plows his ass deep and hard, grunting, 'Now you're the main course, spicier than the jerk chicken!'
A skinny black person named "Treyvon Robinson" joins a pickup basketball game at the local court, trash-talking about his "superior athletic genes" while munching on a stolen bag of Skittles. The ref blows the whistle for a foul, and he argues, "That ain't fair, I'm just naturally dominant!"
But the team's coach, a burly black dude who's been eyeing him all game, grabs him by the jersey, blindfolds him with a sweaty headband, slathers lube from his gym bag all over, and pile-drives his ass courtside in a twisted BDSM slam dunk, yelling, "Now taste the rainbow, punk!"