Worst Jokes Ever

An Abo walks into a pub with a seagull on his shoulder. The barman asks, "Where did you find that?" The seagull replied, "At the tip, mate, there are lots there."

I thought about making a necrophilia joke, but I knew it would be a DOA.

Q. What's the biggest cause of infant drownings? A. Postpartum depression.

The CEO of IKEA was just elected Prime Minister in Sweden.

He should have his cabinet together by the end of the weekend.

Did you hear about the octopus who went emo? He sliced all 8 of his wrists.

There are a lot of things that explode... like cars, boats, the Twin Towers.

What do planes and offices have in common?

They both tend to cross paths at the wake of disaster.

What's Michael Jackson's favorite things to say to little boys? "I'd really love to see you-hoo-hoo tonight," and "I can't smile without you-hoo-hoo."

My dad died on 9/11. He was a great pilot.

All aboard the Magic School Bus! We are going to New York. The second tower has been hit.

How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?

Are you 7/11 or 9/11?

What are Michael Jackson's favorite sodas? Yoo-hoo-hoo and Mountain Dew-hoo-hoo. What cola company should people get to keep him at bay? Pep-see-hee.

What's the difference between a joke and the Twin Towers? People don't laugh at my jokes.

You know how people say white men can’t jump? Well, you should check the 9/11 footage.

I piss on blind kids and tell them it's raining.

Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500m of a school zone?

Because he's dead.

I feel bad for the guy in 9/11 who ordered a salami pizza. Instead, he just got a plane.

What do you call a cow with horns? A horny cow.

What do the Twin Tower survivors order from Tim Hortons? A plane bagel.

Man, this walk is really good. Oh wait, you can't.