Worst Jokes Ever

Q. What's Terri Schiavo's favorite movie?

A. The Purge.

Q. Why aren't jokes about bulimia funny?

A. They're just in bad taste.

I saw a cute coworker and had sex in the back until I realized it is a family business.

When your crush walks in class, but you're homeschooled...

Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?

So you can tell them apart from the feminists.

Why do lesbians get their belly button pierced?

So they have a place to hang the air freshener.

Why do men fart louder than women?

Because women can’t keep their mouth shut to build up any pressure.

The media's relationship with Hillary is just like Bill's relationship with Hillary. The relationship is unwanted and forced, and they'll move on to the next person any chance they get.

I have a joke about suicide, but I’ll just let it hang.

What's the difference between a hipster and a hockey player? A hockey player changes his pads every third period.

If you think I would joke about Alzheimer's, forget it.

How does Osama feed his child? "Here comes the airplane, here comes another one."

A guy jumped out of the Twin Towers, saying, "I ordered pepperoni pizza, not a plane!"

Why don't amputees ever get cold? They're always wearing their stump warmers.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She was born without arms.

What is the first thing you would do if you woke up as a woman?

"Probably the dishes."

Did you know that water is wet?

How much semen can a gay man hold? A buttload.

How do you stop a woman from choking?

Back up an inch.

What did one gay sperm say to the other? "You think we’ll find the egg and all this shit?"