Worst Jokes Ever
If a stork brings white babies, and a blackbird black babies, what bird brings no babies?
A swallow.
A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building.
He yells, "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?
A can't opener.
My wife treats me like God!
She takes no notice of my existence until she wants something.
Why did the pervert cross the road?
His dick was stuck in the chicken.
I’ve just discovered that cock fighting is done with chickens.
12 months of training completely wasted.
An Ob-Gyn asks a lady to put her feet up on the stirrups.
Doctor: My God, you have the biggest vagina I’ve ever seen!
Woman: You don’t have to say that twice.
Doctor: I didn’t.
Why didn't Michael Jackson have a girlfriend? He's afraid of women.
I almost got caught trying to steal a board game yesterday.
It was a Risk I was willing to take.
What does every pirate hate?
A small chest with no booty.
If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple 'thank you' is all I need.
Not all this 'How did you get in my house?' business.
She said she wanted me to treat her like a dishwasher. So I loaded her up, ran her through a rough cycle, and left her wet and broken on the floor.
What did a man say to his boy?
You are my son.
What pronouns does Michael Jackson use? Hee/hee.
What show would have made Michael Jackson a superstar for television? To Catch a Predator, for obvious reasons.
Why do old people swallow popcorn kernels?
To make their cremation more entertaining when they die.
What disease do you get from shoving a dirty, rusty piece of metal up your ass? Tetanus.
What’s one good thing about pedophiles?
They drive slow in school zones.
Why does Michael Jackson avoid Pepsi? They gave him a hot one.
How many white police officers does it take to push an African-American gentleman down the stairs?
Push?! He fell...