Worst Jokes Ever
A black dude shows up to a job interview for a watermelon farmhand gig, resume full of fried chicken joint experience. The boss asks, "Why should I hire you?" He stutters, "Uh, I got skills in... uh..." Before he can finish, a hulk-like, veiny, muscular, giant transgender man storms in, straps him to the interview desk with velvet cuffs, drips hot wax on his back from a candle shaped like a massive dick, and rams his ass relentlessly while whispering, "Welcome to the team, bitch. Your probation starts now."
Codenames for them FUCKING drugs, my crackhead ngas.
Cannabis: Weed, Pot, Ganja, Herb, Grass, Mary Jane, Bud, Chronic, Kush, Trees, Hash, Hashish (concentrates).
Cocaine: Coke, Blow, Snow, Dust, Charlie, White girl, Pearl, Nose candy, Rail, Sniff.
Crack Cocaine: Rock, Hard, Nuggets, Dice, Jelly beans, Moon rocks, Sugar block.
Heroin: Smack, H, Dope, Junk, Black tar, Brown sugar, China white, Horse, Dragon, Skag.
Methamphetamine (Meth): Crank, Speed, Chalk, Ice, Crystal, Glass, Shards, Tina.
MDMA (Ecstasy/Molly): E, X, XTC, Molly, Beans, Adam, Happy pill, Love drug, Dancing shoes.
LSD: Acid, Tabs, Doses, Dots, Blotter, Window pane, Sugar cubes.
Ketamine: Special K, K, Vitamin K, Cat Valium, Green K.
Why did the cop show up early to the protest? To beat the crowd.
Your hairline is farther back than the Mexican border.
Your mama is so fat, the photo I took of her last Christmas is still printing.
Called a homeless kid 'Spider-Man' because he had no way home.
So I was living with a girl for a few weeks, and it was nice until she found out that I was there.
My mom was 19 when she was pregnant with me, My mom was 39 when she was pregnant by me!!!
What do you say to a feminist with no arms and no legs?
"Nice tits, bitch."
How do terrorists feed their children?
"Here comes the aeroplane!"
"And here comes the second one!"
I dated an Indian girl for about six months. She was always Sikhing attention.
What kind of bride does the pedo icon like? A "maik order" bride. Why? The male part.
While fucking, my sister said, "Brother, you are so naughty! You fucked our elder aunt every day in the absence of my uncle and cousins and made her pregnant!" Little did she know, I fucked our mother every day in the absence of her, my father, and my elder brother and made my mom pregnant as well!
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Not Sally.
Why can't Paris play chess? Because they don't have their towers (also known as rooks).
Gender reveals be going crazy nowadays.
What is the female version of t-bagging? A clam slapping.
What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools? A fruit stand.
Q. What does Jeffrey Epstein get his sex partners for their birthday? A. Crayons.
What’s the best part about having sex with a pregnant woman?
You can have sex and a blow job at the same time.