Worst Jokes Ever
A black dude shows up to a job interview for a watermelon farmhand gig, resume full of fried chicken joint experience. The boss asks, "Why should I hire you?" He stutters, "Uh, I got skills in... uh..." Before he can finish, a hulk-like, veiny, muscular, giant transgender man storms in, straps him to the interview desk with velvet cuffs, drips hot wax on his back from a candle shaped like a massive dick, and rams his ass relentlessly while whispering, "Welcome to the team, bitch. Your probation starts now."
Codenames for them FUCKING drugs, my crackhead ngas.
Cannabis: Weed, Pot, Ganja, Herb, Grass, Mary Jane, Bud, Chronic, Kush, Trees, Hash, Hashish (concentrates).
Cocaine: Coke, Blow, Snow, Dust, Charlie, White girl, Pearl, Nose candy, Rail, Sniff.
Crack Cocaine: Rock, Hard, Nuggets, Dice, Jelly beans, Moon rocks, Sugar block.
Heroin: Smack, H, Dope, Junk, Black tar, Brown sugar, China white, Horse, Dragon, Skag.
Methamphetamine (Meth): Crank, Speed, Chalk, Ice, Crystal, Glass, Shards, Tina.
MDMA (Ecstasy/Molly): E, X, XTC, Molly, Beans, Adam, Happy pill, Love drug, Dancing shoes.
LSD: Acid, Tabs, Doses, Dots, Blotter, Window pane, Sugar cubes.
Ketamine: Special K, K, Vitamin K, Cat Valium, Green K.
How do terrorists feed their children?
Here comes the airplane.
Why did the cop show up early to the protest? To beat the crowd.
Your hairline is farther back than the Mexican border.
Your mama is so fat, the photo I took of her last Christmas is still printing.
Called a homeless kid 'Spider-Man' because he had no way home.
So I was living with a girl for a few weeks, and it was nice until she found out that I was there.
What did Rengoku say to his class?
"Set your school ablaze!"
My mom was 19 when she was pregnant with me, My mom was 39 when she was pregnant by me!!!
What do you say to a feminist with no arms and no legs?
"Nice tits, bitch."
Why are priests so bad at racing? They are always in the 'little behind'.
How do terrorists feed their children?
"Here comes the aeroplane!"
"And here comes the second one!"
Kurt Cobain said he wished he was gay.
That's why he married Courtney Love.
What kind of bride does the pedo icon like? A "maik order" bride. Why? The male part.
I dated an Indian girl for about six months. She was always Sikhing attention.
While fucking, my sister said, "Brother, you are so naughty! You fucked our elder aunt every day in the absence of my uncle and cousins and made her pregnant!" Little did she know, I fucked our mother every day in the absence of her, my father, and my elder brother and made my mom pregnant as well!
What has two wings and an arrow?
A Chinese telephone. "Wing Wing Arrow!"
Why can't Paris play chess? Because they don't have their towers (also known as rooks).
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Not Sally.