I had a threesome on an elevator with a monkey and my underage, deaf, & mentally challenged sister...
It was wrong on so many levels.
If a mentally challenged person shows up late,
Is it ok to call him tardy?
Calling you an idiot would be an insult to stupid people. You're much worse than that.
Why did the rapper wear a watch to the studio?
He wanted to make TIMELESS TRACKS.
My sister said to roast her, but my mom said I'm not allowed to burn trash.
A German priest went to America for a few months. Unfortunately for him, he did not speak the best English. He stayed with a beautiful, young single woman who worked at a nearby orphanage.
Every day, he visited her in the orphanage, and he always brought her small gifts, and of course to the young children.
The young woman thought the priest was flirting with him, and she knew he was not married. She left that thought in the back of her mind for a few weeks.
A few weeks later, she finally brought up her nerve to ask him. She asked him why he always visited her, and why all the gifts for her and the children.
Of course, due to his bad English, he struggled a bit with his sentence, but he said in his thick German accent, "Vell, I visit you and your, your littles, because the kind girls here are very beautiful and cute."
She was quite amused, and blushed a bit. The man was also a bit nervous, and appeared to want to leave her office.
The Priest then excused himself, and went to read the orphans a bedtime story.
He then muttered to himself, "Ach, she's catching on to me! Stupid! Zey are called little girls and boys, not child boys and girls."
What’s a rapper’s favorite kind of SODA?
Dr. Dre Pepper.
What did the cow say at night? Look at the moooon.
What do you call it when school starts in Africa?
Black to school.
Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a big forehead, and your hairline recedes too.
Roses are red, I have a blister, holy shit did you just cum in your sister?
Roses are red, violets are blue. I thought Voldemort was ugly, then I saw you.
What’s the easiest way for parents to find out if their child is gay Look in the closet
LBB- me and Shrek built a theme park for you mummy and it’s called Dummy pee pee poo poo doo doo land because Shrek likes to poop.
Shrek- Should I pull the trap?
*LBB’s mom walks into the trap*
LBB and Shrek- surprise we’re mailing you to Peepoo Peepoo AB
Little Brown Bear (LBB): Why did Santa take the kitty and all of my toys, Mummy?
His mom: Maybe because you're the second most massive shit stain besides Caillou.
*Krampus comes down the chimney to eat LBB*
Krampus: Should’ve been better, Little Bear.
LBB: Help, Mummy! He’s the Scratchy monster!
Shrek: Just kidding, it’s not Krampus, but indeed me and Black Donkey instead, and we’re going to poop on your floor.
Duggie: Hopefully Marvin doesn’t see us, and by the way, want some purplish Kool-Aid?
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. And your mom is, too.
Jeffy: "Daddy, Daddy, a monster said it’s gonna poop in your hat!"
Marvin: "I don’t believe that."
Jeffy: "But he said, 'Jeffy, I’m gonna poop in your Daddy’s hat!'"
The next morning,
Jeffy: "Daddy, a monster pooped in your hat!"
*Marvin/Mario looks in his hat*
Marvin: "Jeffy, I don’t believe you, you pooped in my hat!"
Roses are red,
Violets are blue, there's always someone who's better than you.
My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:
roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue, I’d rather be single than with someone like you.
