Worst Jokes Ever
Three children play hide and seek. Their names are Silence, Anger, and Parent. Anger counts. Parent hides in the trash. Silence is at the police station.
A policeman looks at Silence and asks: "What is your name?" Silence replies: "Silence." Terrified, the policeman asks: "Where are your parents?" Silence then replies: "Parent is in the trash!" The policeman then asks indignantly: "Are you looking for Trouble?" Silence replies: "No, in fact, Anger finds me."
Why does the Democratic party want the Republican party to breed rabbits?
Because Democrats are tired of paying for raisins at the grocery store.
How many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
More than 10, since my basement's still dark.
What do you call a seven who's not feeling well? A sick seven
Where did Sally go after stepping onto the minefield? Everywhere
Getting a girlfriend is just like parking a car; usually all the good ones are taken, so you just gotta stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.
Q. What's the difference between a baby and a bale of straw?
A. I got arrested last time I speared a baby with a pitchfork.
What's better than winning the Paralympics wheelchair race?
Walking.
I bought a belt made of clocks.
It was a waist of time.
How do you make a baby survive a fall of over 300 metres?
I don't know. I've dropped dozens off the Empire State Building and none have lived.
How do tourists feed their kids?
Here comes the airplane, here comes the second one.
My doctor gave me 1 year. So I shot him.
The judge gave me fifteen. Problem solved!
What is the difference between a baby and a sweet potato?
About 140 calories.
What’s something you can say at a Christian summer camp and during a blind date?
"Good Lord, this is fun!"
What do birds and planes have in common?
They both fly into building windows.
Next person that says 67, I am gonna yell "9/11" and sweep their feet.
What’s something you can say during a pregnancy test and during a sporting event?
"We’ve got a runner!"
My girlfriend accuse me of cheating. I asked her what was I supposed to do? She was just lying naked she said just do the damn autopsy.
What do you call a white man that can dance?
A faggot.
Is a disabled person who has no arms but has guns armed or not armed?
What did Britney Spears’s left leg say to her right leg? Nothing they’ve never met
Why are liberals so bad at playing hockey? Because it is played on ICE