Worst Jokes Ever
I bought a belt made of clocks.
It was a waist of time.
How do you make a baby survive a fall of over 300 metres?
I don't know. I've dropped dozens off the Empire State Building and none have lived.
How do tourists feed their kids?
Here comes the airplane, here comes the second one.
My doctor gave me 1 year. So I shot him.
The judge gave me fifteen. Problem solved!
What is the difference between a baby and a sweet potato?
About 140 calories.
What’s something you can say at a Christian summer camp and during a blind date?
"Good Lord, this is fun!"
What do birds and planes have in common?
They both fly into building windows.
Next person that says 67, I am gonna yell "9/11" and sweep their feet.
What’s something you can say during a pregnancy test and during a sporting event?
"We’ve got a runner!"
My girlfriend accuse me of cheating. I asked her what was I supposed to do? She was just lying naked she said just do the damn autopsy.
What do you call a white man that can dance?
A faggot.
Is a disabled person who has no arms but has guns armed or not armed?
What did Britney Spears’s left leg say to her right leg? Nothing they’ve never met
Why are liberals so bad at playing hockey? Because it is played on ICE
Who do the United States owe trillions of dollars to?
Jew-piter.
Why can't Asians golf?
Because they can't drive.
The man had no arms and a little girl came over and said, "Give me a high-five."
He said, "I’ve got no arms," and the girl said, "Are you an eel? Cause he don’t have arms."
What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
You take your boots off before jumping on a trampoline.
Q: What did Britney say to Kevin when they were in bed?
A: "Hit me baby one more time."
How can Batman defeat the Joker? A: With a handful of sleeping pills.