Worst Jokes Ever
Chuck Norris doesn't play video games. Video games play Chuck Norris.
The bear rug on Chuck Norris's floor isn't dead, it's just afraid to move.
So, I was in the church the other day, raping this woman, when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!' I said, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'
What's an upside of being an orphan?
You'll never get grounded again.
Why don't you use a dull pencil?
Because there's no point. 😐😑😑
What's the difference between a broken shovel and a young child?
The shovel doesn't cry when you swing it into a wall repeatedly.
What does Michael Jackson and McDonald's have in common?
They both use 30-year-old meat in between two-year-old buns.
What's the difference between a shopping bag and Michael Jackson?
One is white, made of plastic, and dangerous for children. The other is for groceries.
There are some questionable candies out there, such as:
"All I want is a good Blow Pop."
"I don’t even want to know where that Butterfinger has been."
"If you do, you’ll probably end up with tasting the rainbow."
"Nobody wants to bite into an O’Henry."
"Or adopt Three Musketeers."
"Or even end up with a Sour Patch."
What do blind people and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
Why can Elsa hold a balloon? She will "Let It Go"!
How do you know that a woman is about to say something smart?
She starts the sentence with ‘a man once said.’
It's been 2 years since I've been on this. Hello, guys!
Peter Griffin walks into a bar.
Peter Griffin walks into a bar.
Peter Griffin walks into a bar.
I think I may have forgotten the rest of the joke.
My anxiety has anxiety.
Q. If a pedophile, necrophile, and a guy who is into incest are all sitting in a car, who's driving?
A. A police officer.
Michael Jackson, who's terrified of adult women, once had a girlfriend, but broke it off with her. When she asked him why, he said, "It's not you, it's me-hee-hee."
I'm a proud racist. I love kart racing, street racing. Any kind will do.
What is the best Catholic dating app?
Grinder.
Q. What's the difference between an Alzheimer's patient and a tomato? A. A tomato isn't a vegetable.