Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a seven who's not feeling well? A sick seven
Where did Sally go after stepping onto the minefield? Everywhere
Getting a girlfriend is just like parking a car; usually all the good ones are taken, so you just gotta stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.
Q. What's the difference between a baby and a bale of straw?
A. I got arrested last time I speared a baby with a pitchfork.
What's better than winning the Paralympics wheelchair race?
Walking.
How do you make a baby survive a fall of over 300 metres?
I don't know. I've dropped dozens off the Empire State Building and none have lived.
I bought a belt made of clocks.
It was a waist of time.
If the US ate chicken, it would die.
What happens when a Jewish guy walks into a wall with a full erection?
He breaks his nose.
You built like you in the 1980's!
You're built like a Windows touchscreen!
Q. Why did the pimp buy a journal?
A. To organize his thots.
How do tourists feed their kids?
Here comes the airplane, here comes the second one.
My doctor gave me 1 year. So I shot him.
The judge gave me fifteen. Problem solved!
What is the difference between a baby and a sweet potato?
About 140 calories.
Your hairline go so far back it remember the Civil War, ugly ahh.
What’s something you can say at a Christian summer camp and during a blind date?
"Good Lord, this is fun!"
What do birds and planes have in common?
They both fly into building windows.
How do you stun a Scotsman?
Ask them to say "purple burglar alarm".
Next person that says 67, I am gonna yell "9/11" and sweep their feet.
Kid 1: "It's a bird!"
Kid 2: "It's a plane!"
Me: "It's a terrorist!"
What’s something you can say during a pregnancy test and during a sporting event?
"We’ve got a runner!"