One day my friend said: "I want tacos from Katie's, you?" and I said no thanks and she left. I never saw her again. Today I remember that I saw her name on TV as one of the victims of suicide, then I remember her and my motto: "If I'm dying, you're dying with me, you got no choice." I NEVER ate tacos from Katie's again.
Worst Jokes Ever
POV: you
You're so clapped that you make Susan Boyle attractive.
A priest, a rabbi, and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, “Is this some kind of joke?”
Why do orphans eat an ice cream cone?? They can't afford a family pack.
The only woman to ever tell you that they loved you was your mom. (If she even loved you in the first place.)
My son asked for a swimming pool so I got him a ant 🐜🐜🐜 pool.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll f*ck your mom, and you'll be next.
Yo mama so dumb, she went to the eye doctor to get an iPhone.
Why don't orphans play tag?
Because there's no one to catch.
Someone in my class yelled "Jenga!" while watching a documentary about the Twin Towers.
A Catholic priest finds a young boy crying at the top of a cliff.
“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
The boy points down. “Mummy and Daddy were in the car and it went over the edge.”
The priest can see the flaming wreck below. He looks around and sees no one else is about and starts to unbutton his belt.
“It’s really not your day, is it?”
At weddings my mom always tells me I’m next. So I say the same to her, at funerals.
What Lord of the Rings book is banned from the United States?
The Two Towers.
Why did the snowman melt?? It had a melt down! 😭😭
I saw a bus the other day with some boy scouts at the back. One of them was having fun getting his knot-tying badge.
Technically speaking, "ur mom/ur father" jokes have no effect on orphans.
Q. What do you call a Muslim basketball player?
A. Osama Bin Ballin'.
They told me a mask was enough to get into the supermarket.
They lied, everybody else was also wearing pants.
"What time is it?"
"Daytime."
