What do depressed people do when they’re bored?
They “Hang” Out.
Worst Jokes Ever
What did the Twin Towers say to the plane?
I asked the gym instructor,
"Can you teach me to do the splits?"
"How flexible are you?" he asked.
"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."
Why don't bald eagles brush their teeth? Because they don't have teeth! xD
So there’s this air purifier in my room, right? It’s really noisy, so I unplugged it to sleep better, and sure enough, I fell asleep faster. So I came to the conclusion: if I unplug noisy machines, people will sleep better.
It worked really well in my local hospital.
Yo mamma so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," he was just asking her to get out the way.
You're so ugly when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.
What do you do if you see an Indian woman getting raped? Nothing, since raping is a normal everyday part of Indian culture.
Roses are red, violets are blue, You'll suck my dick 'cause I'm stronger than you.
Why do I look nervous when I enter the church? Is it just because I'm the only one with the bomb?
What did the blind, deaf, mentally handicapped orphan get for Christmas?
Cancer.
A 10 year old girl lays in her bed and excitedly waits for Santa to come. When Santa eventually comes she giggles, shivers, and orgasms.
Finally, as a special thank you, she sucks off Santa’s wet cock.
Why did the snowman say, "Good day," to the sun?
Because it was afraid to melt away by the sun.
Jeff crosses the US border.
The second he crosses into the USA, a guy comes up with a gun.
Jeff: "That's what I was expecting."
Pro tip: How to not hit your thumb with a hammer, make your child hold the nail.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call dad. 🤣
I was crying because my dad was cutting onions...
Onions was a good dog.
Yo Mamma's so fat that she falls from both sides of the bed.
Why were there so many victims in the Grenfell flat fire disaster in London?
All the exit signs were in English.
What's white but not black, and red all over?
J. K. Rowling after attending the world premiere of the next Matrix movie.
