Worst Jokes Ever
These 9/11 jokes just don’t land.
Titanic, doing the polar plunge before it was cool.
And so the Lord said unto John, "Come forth, and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.
What's an orphan's favorite band?
Foster the People 😂
What did the clock do when it was hungry? It went back four seconds.
My friend entered a pun contest. He entered ten, figuring at least one of them would win, but no pun in ten did.
Why can't Chinese people play baseball?
They eat the bat.
Me to bully: You are so fat that when the satellite took the picture, you were considered as an island.
Bully: (Speechless)
What is a thing orphans have that we can never have?
Imaginary parents.
Why do orphans not have cheese on their burgers? They don't have a dad to get milk.
Why are orphans bad at basketball?
They haven't learned how to keep the ball with them.
Guys, stop making jokes about blind people, they might s... never mind, continue.
What is the toughest thing about living a vegan life?
Getting up at 5am to milk the almonds.
When the guy next to you says that he kind of agrees with the villain.
Me watching a World War 2 documentary.
Your forehead is so big, Humpty Dumpty didn’t want to fall off!
Say "invented" without the first "n".
I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before kicking the bucket: "Hey, wanna see how far I can kick this bucket?"
I saw this advert in a window that said: “Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.” I thought, “I can’t turn that down.”
Police: Where do you live? Child: With my parents.
Police: Where do your parents live? Child: With me.
Police: Where do you all live? Child: Together.
Police: Where is your house? Child: Next to my neighbor's house.
Police: Where is your neighbor's house? Child: If I tell you, would you believe me?
Police: Yes. Now tell me. Child: Next to my house.
Police: ... Child: 😊
Police: *Proceeds to beat the life out of the child*
What's the favorite song of an Emo?
"Chain Hang Low."