I lost my job at the bank. Some lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her.
Worst Jokes Ever
Adolf Hitler + Vladimir Putin = Vladolf Putler.
Yo momma so fat, whenever she goes to the beach, the tide comes in!
Why did Sally fall off the swing? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.
Why did Sally drop a broom? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.
Why did Sally go swimming? She didn't like not having arms.
Knock knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally, she hasn't come back yet.
Q: What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill?
A: A mud slide.
Why is England bad at chess?
'Cause they lost their queen.
What do you think would fall to the ground first, an emo kid or a leaf?
The leaf. The rope would stop the emo kid.
Waluigi gets his Walu-weenie stuck in a vending machine!
It’s about drive, it’s about power, We stay hungry, we devour, Put in the work, put in hours, And take what’s ours.
What do school shooting jokes and school shooting victims have in common? They never get old.
What does the school shooter do after he shoots a victim? He shoots more kids in them!
When you see someone, you say, "Go suck bananas."
A goose with no beak, and you eat?
Goose beak salad, file! :)
What does a depressed person say when they're happy?
"..."
Your hairline is like a math expression, there is no solution.
That’s right, I have my own category😎
Pro lifers: End abortion!!!
Pro lifers after school shooting: But not this abortion.
Where can you donate an aborted fetus?
Your local pizzeria.
What is Osama bin Laden singing right now?
*cue the little mermaid* "Undaaa the sea, undaaa the sea"
Your forehead is so big that I could draw the map of the world on it.
