What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo?
Head N Shoulders.
Worst Jokes Ever
Hey girl, do you like Harry Potter?
Because I want to wingardium leviosa up that skirt, alohamora those legs open, and aqua erupto inside of your leaky cauldron.
What kind of book does cheese read at a church?
The Hole-y Bible.
Damn bro, are you Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?
Cuz you be lookin AuTiSTiC.
So Fred accidentally cut off John's ear with his spade.
John and Fred were digging a ditch when Fred made a careless swipe with his spade and cut off John's ear.
"Help me find it in all this mud," said John. "If we find it, they can sew it back on."
After a couple of minutes, Fred triumphantly shouted, "Here it is," handing the ear to John.
"That's not it," said John, throwing the ear back into the muddy ditch. "Mine had a pencil behind it!"
Your mama is so fat that when she ate a burger, she liked it.
Health feed fights grand gucxsrdcjcgfdz taxicab heaven reflection during harvesting.
"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.
What's the difference between a wizard who raises the undead and a sexy vampire?
One is a necromancer and the other is a neck romancer.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true.
I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Jokes are not funny.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't find home.
Fat women can't walk, but on 9/11, they ran.
Your hairline is so back it's not even a hairline cuz you're bald. LOL
Boy: “My heart MELTS for you.”
Girl: “OMG, are you okay?!?!”
Boy: “Yeah, why?”
Girl: “Because if your heart is melting, then you are NOT okay.”
Watching the 9/11 documentaries is just watching a kill cam.
Why are orphans so bad at football?
How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.
Stig
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because he can't get home.
