Worst Jokes Ever

What is the difference between Catholics and Lutherans?

Catholics are registered sex offenders.

I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence."

Why is the bottom of the ocean so dark?

Because the Africans couldn't swim.

What did Jeff Dahmer say to the gays? Get over here and let me give you so much anal to where you die, DADDY! UWU!

👱‍♀️ 👱‍♂️What is the difference between two blondes and a Libertarian?

A Libertarian hasn't won a presidential election since 1972, and two blondes are too stupid to run in a presidential election.

You're so fat that you cause your heart to have panic attacks.

(some kid crying because hes an orphan and kids are bulling him) teacher:HEY i was a orphan to so if you bully him your basicly trying to bully me too me:OOF teacher:now is somebody not here? me:your parents

My Asian girlfriend has a weird name. As I gave her anal, she was yelling "I'm too young."

Yo mama's so fat, when Thanos snapped, she only lost a few kg.

Why did the kid cross the road?

He wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

Oh, you just got owned, like my ancestors.

Hi guys, I am Logan Taub the toad. I just want to say that my cock is so, so, so tiny. It could fit 50 times in the crack of my butt chin!!!!! Also, I am trans👍

Friend: "UR LIT BRO!!"

Me: "That's what my sleeve said to my arm."

Why can't orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.

I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.

Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.

Why do orphans like boomerangs? Cause they come back.

Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.

Girls are like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.

If you hit an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?

If you hit an orphan with a car, at least you don't have to tell their parents.

Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.

What does an orphan call a family photo? A selfie.

Why was the orphan a big success? Cause people say go big or go home, he only had one option.

Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.

What do orphans and blind kids have in common? They can’t see their parents.

Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt? Because they don’t know what a mummy is.

Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.

What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.

What is an Italian massage?

An Italian Catholic priest giving a blowjob inside the confessional booth during Lent.

I told a crippled guy he is immortal because he can't kick the bucket.

What does LMAO stand for?

Launching Moms At Orphans.

Me: Hey, are you an orphan?

Orphan: Yeah, what gave me away?

Me: Your parents.

What's the difference between E.T. and an orphan?

E.T. can phone home.

I knew a girl that died from having phone sex... He died of hearing aids.