"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "You're." "You're who?" "You're parents left you."
Worst Jokes Ever
What is red, orange, and yellow but doesn’t feel anything when it falls? Autumn leaves. 🍁
John and Chloe are in school arguing about who has the more heroic grandfather.
Chloe says, "My grandfather killed 50 Nazis, he's so heroic!"
John says, "So what? My grandfather KILLED Hitler!"
My mom was telling me about different pastas. So many pastabilities!
What’s a 5 letter word that starts with a ‘P’ that girls love to get their hands on? 😏
My enemy likes to act like he’s stupid sometimes, and so once he asked me what a sin was, and I responded with, “you.”
I found two of the same Lego Duplo sets, so I called ‘em “Duplocates.”
I played Uno with my Mexican friend.
That bastard took all the green cards!
What’s a Mexican's favorite video game?
Borderlands 2
I love pussy.
Planes shouldn't have free Wi-Fi. Why? Because the last time they had free Wi-Fi, well here's what happened...
On September eleventh 2001, (children scream).
A penis has a sad life.
His hair is a mess. His family is nuts. His neighbor is an asshole. His best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him. That's it for now.
There are two muffins baking in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?"
The other muffin says, "AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!"
Me: Yo, dude! Yo mama so fat when she walked by the TV, I missed three episodes!
My friend's mom: Why you bully me?
Gvvvvvvvuhhgh.
You're so skinny, when you did your first jump on a pogo stick you would never come back.
You're so skinny that if I were to put you on a flagpole, you would wave in the wind.
You're so skinny, you probably wipe your ass with floss.
A rich man and a poor man are talking about anniversaries. The rich man got his wife a Mercedes and a diamond ring. He says if the wife does not like the ring, she can take the Mercedes and leave.
The poor man said he got his wife slippers and a dildo. He says if his wife does not like the slippers, she can go and fuck herself.
How do astronomers organize a party? They planet.
