What's the most illegal activity in Africa?
Watering the plants.
An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind...
...but it will allow ugly people to get laid.
When someone calls me ugly, I get sad and hug them.
I know life can be difficult for those with weak vision.
I got a job at a library. I got fired after 15 minutes. They told me it was because I put women's rights in the fiction section.
I got suspended for telling the emo kid to hang in there.
What does a middle aged man live in?
A retarded kid he keeps in the van.
Throw a few paper airplanes at the twins in your class, see if they fall.
People always tell me to say no to drugs, but if I'm talking to drugs, I probably said yes.
Genie: You cannot wish for more wishes, immortality, or love.
Man: I wish not to die a virgin.
Genie: I just said no wishing for immortality!
What is the fastest way to spread a rumor?
Telephone? No.
Television? No.
How then? Tell a woman!
What’s red and green and goes 100 miles per hour?
A frog in a blender.
What is 6 inches tall when bricked up and is loved by women?
A strong man’s biceps.
Are you a bull, because I wanna ride you like a rodeo.
Are you a builder? Because you are giving me an erection.
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