Worst Jokes Ever
My friend and I were at the mall and decided to try on some necklaces. He said, "I think you should get the one over there." I do. I look at my friend and he’s wearing one with a little extra length so you can adjust it. I asked him, "Did you just break away from your owner to upgrade to clothes and shoes?"
Me and my girlfriend were walking in the woods.
Her: I am scared!
Me: What do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.
What do you call an emo girl with a flat chest?
A cutting board.
What does Michael Jackson and caviar have so much in common?
They both come on little white crackers.
Your hairline be going up and down like a Formula 1 car!
Your hairline is so far back it looks like it's been slapped up by Will Smith.
Are you angry?
Go bully an orphan!
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
So I painted my laptop black, hoping it would run faster... Now it doesn't work.
Men should pay for the first date, that’s why it’s called a (men)u.
Then women should do the dishes, that’s why they call it a dish wash(her).
How do you get a party started in Africa?
You put a slice of bread on the ceiling and everyone will be jumping.
Why can't two Asians make a white baby? Because two "Wong's" don't make a white.
Joke: I went to a paraplegic strip club the other day, the place was crawling with pussy.
The Earth was flat until yo mama buried herself.
As a straight son, one day I asked my mom, "Have you ever quit something that you did before?" My mom said, "No, I never quit anything." So I asked my when you give a blow job you ever spit, then my mom said, "What did I say? Quitters are for spitters."
Yo mama's so fat, when she went to the beach in a blue dress, everyone screamed "tsunami!"
Did you see the blind guy trip on a can?
He didn't either.
Which falls faster, an apple or an emo kid?
The apple, because the emo kid is hanging.
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already done told her twice.
What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer?
A freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
I'll rate this a 9/11.