Worst Jokes Ever
As a straight son, one day I asked my mom, "Have you ever quit something that you did before?" My mom said, "No, I never quit anything." So I asked my when you give a blow job you ever spit, then my mom said, "What did I say? Quitters are for spitters."
Yo mama's so fat, when she went to the beach in a blue dress, everyone screamed "tsunami!"
Did you see the blind guy trip on a can?
He didn't either.
Which falls faster, an apple or an emo kid?
The apple, because the emo kid is hanging.
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already done told her twice.
What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer?
A freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
I'll rate this a 9/11.
What's another name for cumming inside a woman?
Loading the dishwasher.
How do you punish a blind person?
Hand them a gun and tell them it’s a hairdryer.
Let's play twin towers, your thighs are the towers and my penis is the plane, coming in between.
I went for a job interview today, and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."
"Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible!"
I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia.
She whispered, "They're right behind you!"
Bro, your hairline is so far back not even Dora the Explorer can find it!
Your hairline is so far back your dad had to go find it for you.
My favorite place to make a bonfire? Orphanages, of course, silly!
I was at work and a few fat women came up to me and asked for some help.
Later that week, I ran into them on the dance floor. One of them asked me if I wanted to dance. I told her no. The other asked me if I knew what was cracking. I calmly said, "The floor."
Why is Santa's sack so big?
Because he only cums once a year.
What’s the difference between a feminist and a school shooter?
A school shooter actually makes an impact on its targets.
Why do orphans only have 363 days?
They don’t have Mother’s Day or Father’s Day.
I Googled "How to start a Wildfire." It gave me 28,452 matches.