Worst Jokes Ever
You look like a heroin addict in a women's refuge.
I said, "Are you half left or half right?"
"Neither! In-between."
"What?! In between your mom's tits when you go to sleep with her at night?"
I'm so bored and miserable, that I have sex with my inflatable girlfriend every night.
The best part? She don't talk back.
As soon as I saw your mom, my Premature Ejaculation went off.
I was lying on the living room carpet the other day with my girlfriend on top of me in wings and a tutu, making out.
I called her the Fallen Angel.
It's a shame Iran doesn't know how to restrain Israel. If only they had Hitler's expertise.
Now he really would be THE FINAL SOLUTION!
How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because they're so DARN STUPID!!!!
When we take a family photo, you are the background.
ISIS recently brought out their own shampoo: HEAD AND SOLDIERS.
Your hairline is so far back that it looks like Putin's tanks steamrolled through.
I don't like them white, pale, always talking about death EMO kids!
Sorry, I meant CHEMO kids.
What shows do orphans dream of?
Full House or Fuller House.
How names were named.
"I have to go because my tailor is at the gym where he will chase coal before dawn."
"SAY THAT AGAIN. SO MANY GOOD NAMES!"
This is how animals were named.
"Bye Son." *cuts call*. What are we talking about?
"Bison. Perfect."
What's simultaneously up and down?
A retard on a plane.
GTA 6
I got sad today.
Jesus walks into a hotel, hands the inn keeper three nails and says, "Can ya put me up for the night?"
A Russian, a Cuban, and an Englishman are on a ship. The Russian takes a swig of vodka and throws the bottle overboard. The Cuban and Englishman with astonishment say to the Russian, "What did you do that for?"
The Russian says, "In Russia, we got an unlimited supply of vodka."
A little while later, the Cuban lights up a cigar, takes a puff, and throws it overboard. The Cuban says, "We got an unlimited supply of Cuban Cigars in Cuba."
Then the Englishman grabs a Paki and throws him overboard...
Japan takes credit for creating the rice cooker, but they forgot the USA made the largest one in 1945 and sent it to Japan.