Whos

Whos jokes

A man who desperately wanted to be good after serving time in prison was visited by an Angel. "You want to change? You can still enter heaven on two conditions. You must bet on the horses with any money you have and pass your winnings to someone less fortunate, and you must never hold on to any beef." The Angel then disappeared.

The man did as was told and became generous and kind. As he emerged from the betting office with all his money, he would pass every penny of it all to a deserving person each and every time.

He, however, couldn't seem to avoid meat and would still eat it no matter what.

When he died, the Angel came back for him.

"But I'm undeserving; I can't come with you," he said.

"Yes, you can," replied the Angel, "you gave all your stake (steak) away."

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?"

"9/11"

"9/11 Who?"

"I thought you'd never forget..."

  • 0

    • Hitler visits a lunatic asylum. The patients give the Hitler salute. As he passes down the line, he comes across a woman who isn't saluting.

    "Why are you not saluting like the others?" Hitler barks.

    "Mein Führer, I'm the nurse," she responds. "I'm not crazy!"

  • 3

    • 🌍: You're so hot!

    🌎: How are you single?

    ☀️: I burn anyone who gets too close!

    A person went to tell a joke: "Knock knock!" "Who’s there?" "I don’t remember!" (I think we need to moove on to the next joke now.)

    I just now made this one up! Then I realized it is in the cow category, so I added the moove on part! 😂

    Teacher: “Alright, we’re going to play Kahoot! Please use your real name.”

    That one kid putting Joe: -_-

    Teacher: Who’s Joe?

    The whole class: JOE MAMA!

  • 0

    • Who works at IHOP? A girl with one leg.

    P1: Why did the chicken cross the road?

    P2: To get to the other side DUH?!?

    P1: No dumbass, it's to get run over because he has depression, a chronic illness, and his father left him for a good for nothing pimp that doesn’t even give a shit about how he feels. (Kinda like me).

    P2: Holy shit are u ok? *Some random eavesdropping fucker dials 911 in a hurry*

  • 2

    • Do this on a calculator.

    There was this girl who was (13) but she wanted to be (84) but she was (45) but the doctor said (0). He said take these tablets (2x) a day, but she took them (4x) a day, and she ended up boobless.

    I sometimes want rampage, but what good would that do?

    I look for a way out, but there's not even a light shining through.

    The times where all is dark, are the times that I need a mark.

    Though people say that nobody will care, the truth is: there's always one who's fair.

    That person may not be the one you expect, but I am here with a passion to redirect.

    Once there was a time where I tried to end it all, because I only looked on the dark side.

    Truth was I wanted to be heard, to be respected, to let someone know.

    But that was in the past and this isn't about my dark ride, it's time for others to know that only a few words, can extinguish a glow.

    Knock knock.

    Who's there?

    Control freak.

    Con...

    Ok, now you say, "Control freak who?"

    In English class, the teacher says, "Kids, you need to say the alphabet. Okay, Sally, you first." Sally says, "Okay, a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z." The teacher says, "Good job, Sally." Then the teacher called on four other students who got it right. Then the teacher called on Little Johnny. The teacher says, "Little Johnny, say the alphabet." Little Johnny says, "b c e f g h i j k l m n o p s v w x y z." The teacher says, "No, Johnny, that's not right." Johnny says, "Oh, I forgot, u r a q t." The teacher says, "No, still not right, and thank you." Johnny says, "Oh, I’ll give you the d later." The class laughs and the teacher says, "Go to the office now."

  • 9

    • Knock knock.

    Who's there?

    Atch.

    Atch who?

    Sorry you are sneezing. Have you got a cold?