One morning I saw three kids were bullying one other kid because they didn't have a dad... Later that day the three same kids were walking toward an orphanage. :)
-Dark_Humor
Little Johnny runs up to his mother and says, “mommy mommy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, daddy came in with the lady next door and they started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off daddy’s clothes and daddy took off the clothes from the lady next door, and they both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of daddy and started...”. The mother cuts him off and says “just stop right there. You wait until your daddy comes home so you can tell him everything you just told me.” Couple hours later the father arrives and walks through the door to find his wife and child with bags packed. She walks up to him and slaps across the face shouting “I’m leaving you... Go ahead Johnny, tell him what you told me earlier.” Johnny steps forward to tell his daddy. “Daddy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, you came in with the lady next door and you both started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off your clothes and you took off the clothes from the lady next door, and you both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of you and started doing the same thing mom did with uncle joe last summer.”
I never knew the kid at School had Autism, I always just thought he was walking into cobwebs. 🤔
*karen walks into MCcdonalds lady at the counter:HI what can I get for you today?? Karen:i want 1 SMALL FRIES PLEASE AND MAKE IT SNAPPY LITTLE NOODLE lady at the counter:yes miss Karen:I WILL NOW INSPECT THIS lady at the counter:*sweats* Karen:THIS IS NOT SALTY ENOUGHT GET ME THE MANAGER KNOW SKINY NOODLE
Me at the Oscars when I see Jada Pinkett Smith, I said: "G.I. Jane 2, more like G.I. Jada 2, can't wait to see it."
So Will Smith is laughing and then suddenly, Will Smith walks up to me and punches me in the face.
Me: "Ow, oh, wow. Will Smith just smacked the shit out of me.” My nigga Smith goes: "KEEP MY WIFE'S NAME OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!" Me: "Maybe you should focus on keeping her friends out of hers."
My mom said that being straight is good but if your straight how do you walk so i decided to be gay
Which way do gay men walk?
One direction
So I walk in to a bar and There’s people waiting in line to punch me in the face
That’s the punch line
Yesterday i saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no so i asked him if he needed help. And he said yes so i let him in my car and said dont worry you’ll be home with you parents soon. He said my parents died. I said i know.
When the guy came in with a gun to rob the store, i said: "Hey can i borrow that?" he says "yes" me over here walking to the cashier and saying: "goodbye" he screams: "HAVE MERCY!" I say: "No not to you, to me. say goodbye" he says: "No don't shoot yourself" it was to late.
You're so ugly that when you walk past the toilet, it flushes itself.
A guy walks into a restaurant and orders Turtle soup . The waiter hollers “One Turtle Soup”. A moment later the guy calls the waiter over and says, I’ve changed my mind , I would like Pea Soup The waiter hollers “ Hold The Turtle and Make It Pea “
A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks "where'd you get that lovely thing?" "Africa" the parrot replied.
Zion is so big, when he walks its a earhquake
Zions so fat when he walks he breaks his mamas back
A woman walks into a bar, and says ow.
A dad and son walks into a strip club the people in the strip club said he was to young to be in hear so they had to leave 10 years later they went back there. They saw a small dancer the father walked over there and said the woman looked to small to be in hear her reply was...?
Son: Dad what's a morbid joke? Father: Walk over to a homeless man and throw a rock at him then you will know. Son: But Dad I don't have arms or legs. Father: Now you know.
when you see a depressed kid you walk up and say "wassup my lil barcode"
A homeless kid walked up to another kid and said i have what you dont he said (parents)and the kid said your right i do have parents and walked away
