Track jokes
Bro, your hairline and an athletics track have one thing in common: they look like Humpty Dumpty.
What does a race track and your hairline have in common? They both go up and down.
A man comes to a bar and has a drink. Then his bully came to him and stole his drink. Then the bully asked, "What's wrong?"
The man said that "I'm trying to kill myself. I tried getting hit by a train, but the train went on a different track. Then I tried to jump off a bridge, but I fell on a boat full of pillows. Then I tried to poison myself."
Then the bully says, "Then what?" Then the man replied, "You just drank it." Then the man left.
Where would the next Formula race happen?
Answer: On your flat chest.
So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.
When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"
He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."
What’s a gay person’s favorite race track?
Rainbow Road.
What is a Mexican person's favorite sport?
Cross country.
My suicidal friend said he liked trains, so we took him to the tracks.
When your legs forget how to work after leg day, I can't climb the stairs.
Michael Myers right behind me. Runs like I'm a track star!
What's the quickest way to go to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.
There's a disabled kid in my class, right? Oops, should've brought my Hot Wheels tracks.
Why did the man go across the train tracks to get to the other side?
How does a train eat?
It goes, "chew chew."
Why don't orphans have Life360?
Because parents won't track them.
What did Amtrak say at the Olympics?
I AM keeping Trak!
Why can’t Hitler do track?
He can’t even finish a race.
Why can't Hitler join track?
Because he can't even finish a race.
I was making fun of an orphan, then I realized he tracked me down. I made a bad decision. He was Batman!
What do you call a kid on the track team who isn't on the track team?
A school shooter.
I was doing a race, and I started after everyone 'cause I fell, but when I got up I realized I couldn't even race, not because I was behind, but because I can't go straight if I'm gay...