Their jokes

You know why pedophiles get away with molesting children?

Because who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.

Why are eggs bad at puns?

They always mix up their yolks!

Trump likes to grab 'em by the pussy. Putin likes to grab them by their tiny hands.

Where do orphans have their family reunions?

The graveyard.

Why do US suck at chess? We lost both our towers.

Why is England so good at chess? They still have their queen.

Why does Russia suck at chess? They only have pawns.

What do dogs do when they lose their tail?

They go to the retail store.

Two of my grandpas died in WW2.

Their tower fell over.

How do Asians name their babies?

They throw pots and pans around.

"Ching, Chang, Clang!"

Yo, three kids play hide-and-go-seek. Their names are Trouble, Manners, and Shut Up.

Shut Up hit the police station, Manners hit the trashcan. Trouble is the seeker. When they go and hide and all that shit, the policeman comes up to Shut Up and goes, "Hey kid, what's your name?"

Well, Shut Up looks at him and goes, "Shut Up."

Policeman says, "Excuse me, kid, where's your manners at?"

Shut Up goes, "Oh, Manners? In the trash."

Policeman goes, "Oh, Manners in the trash? And then policeman goes, "Hey kid, are you looking for Trouble?"

Then Shut Up goes and says, "No, Trouble's looking for me."

There were these three men; their names were Shit, Shut up, and Manners. One day, they were riding in their car, and Shit fell out, so Manners went out to pick Shit up, and Shut up went to the police station.

When he got there, the police officer said, "What's your name, son?" and Shut up said, "Shut up." The officer replies with, "Ummm...excuse me?!" and Shut up said, "Shut up!" and the officer said, "Boy, where are your manners?" and Shut up said, "Round the corner picking up Shit!"

Why does the orphan have water with its cereal?

Their dad never came back with the milk.

I would make a joke about fat people, but they already have enough on their plate.

Another joke, I know they suck.

What is a depressed person's favorite joke? Their life.

What does a blind kid and an orphan have in common?

They can’t see their parents.

How to cure boredom:

If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Chinese always proud of their principle in business.

The fact is only products they copy that go international, except for COVID.

Columbine High basketball team will never be good again after they lost their two best shooters.

Your mama is so ugly.

The Buddhist monks broke their vow of silence.

What do you call a Japanese person when their knees are cured?

"Happynese" (happy knees).

What’s an orphan’s least favorite event? Their birthday!