The jokes
Why did the old man fall down a well?
He couldn't see that well.
The "f" in orphan stands for family.... wait a minute!
What did the orphan ask Santa for? A good family.
What did the orphan say to the other? "Quick, Robin, to the Batmobile!"
A cat in the desert be like:
YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yo mama so fat, when she sat on the roof of a Walmart, it lowered the prices.
The 10 cents said to the 1 cent, "Haha, I make more cents than you!"
To all the little rude people here, fuck you. I didn't ruin this country, it was Putin!
What did the salt say to the vinegar during the sweet and sour dynasty?
"STUPID VINIGGER!"
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
An apple gets picked.
Did you hear they just took Biden to the hospital?
No, what happened?
He couldn’t stop pootin!
One day there was a frantic call at the fire department:
"Help me, help me! There is a cat meowing nearby. It is going to hurt me, it's going to kill me, can you help me, and send the fire squad right away?"
"Take it easy, cats don’t hurt us, just relax and wait until he leaves."
"You don’t understand it is going to bite me, it is going to kill me, it is going to be fatal!"
"Cats aren’t venomous or in any other way dangerous, now who is calling?"
"I’m Indy's parrot you twit! Now help me! Please help, please help!"
My friend in a wheelchair tells a funny joke.
I resist the urge to say that he should become a stand-up comedian.
A dad and son walk into a strip club. The people in the strip club said he was too young to be in here, so they had to leave. Ten years later, they went back there. They saw a small dancer. The father walked over there and said the woman looked too small to be in here. Her reply was... "I wasn't dancing ten years ago."
You should go back into the abortion bucket. Maybe you'll find half a brain in there.
Who is the king of the insects 🐜?
The Monarch!
The lice in your head are starting to concern over deforestation.
I was on the Official Cristiano Ronaldo website when suddenly my Anti-Virus software showed an alert on my screen! The notification read "WARNING: FRAUD DETECTED!" I was shocked but not surprised.
Penaldo has been finished for years after all, and he often ghosts in big games.
I have gathered intelligence regarding the Russian Forces that have been stalled in Ukraine for days. Apparently, they are installing rear view mirrors on their combat vehicles and tanks in order to see the battle at the front lines.
Why can't emos come out of the closet to their parents?
Because they won't be there to stick around.