The jokes

When the emo kid says let’s play truth or dare, You know it’s about to hang over.

A guy sees a kid crying, and the guy walks up to the kid and asks, "Where are your parents?"

God, I love working at an orphanage!

A homeless kid walked up to another kid and said, "I have what you don't." He said, "(Parents)."

And the kid said, "Your right, I do have parents," and walked away.

Why did Stephan Hawking not turn up to the meeting?

His internet connection ran out.

You know why the Twin Towers were more remembered? A hexagon is more commendable than a pentagon.

You are so fat that the waiter said to you every time: "Sorry for your weight" instead of "Sorry for the wait."

What's the difference between an American and a computer?

Americans don't have trouble shooting!

What’s the difference between a retard and a zombie? Nothing much, they both dribble, moan, are hungry, walk weirdly, and it takes a bullet in the head to put them both down.

Hello my fellow Canadians, I mean Americans. I, your cool and hip president, has decided to give everyone free ice cream! Even the Russians. Go out to your local ice cream shop and make sure to leave your kids at home!

What's the difference between an orphan and a vegetable?

The vegetable gets picked.