Sweet jokes

So I was at home, and I went to take a shower, and I accidentally walked in on my brother having sex with some girl. So I left. A couple minutes later, I needed my headphones to listen to music, so I asked my mom where she was. She told me she was in the shower. Our house only has one bathroom. Sweet home Alabama.

The other day I went on a romantic cruise in Hawaii. Then I met my girl Zendaya on board. She was shaking her ass and playing with her penis. Then she asked me, "Hey, you wanna make love in the cabin?" I said, "Sure, sweet thang," gave me her number, kissed me on the cheek. Next day she woke up because it was a romantic nightmare.

What is the difference between your girlfriend and your sister?

They're both "sweet home Alabama."

First Date: HE: "I work with animals every day!" SHE: "Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?" HE: "I’m a butcher." SHE: "Perfect! I work with humans, I just kill them by cutting them up!"

HE: "So it's you in the newspaper?" SHE: "Yes, it was, wanna be next?" HE: "No!"

So, this woman woke up since she had a bad dream and was yelling about her bad dream. Then, in the bed, her husband woke up and said, "Hey! You just woke me up in a sweet dream!" She said, "Oh, sorry babe." Then she asked him what his dream was about, and he responded like, "I was with a woman; me and her was in the middle of dreamy sex; you just ruined it!" She said, "AAAAh!" He asked her what her dream was about, then she replied as, "I was trying to suck a man's penis, and a cock trying to get cummiee out of it!"

I have some words that might make sense to girls, but maybe not to boys, ready?

smart

kind

sweet

caring

loving

mature

What is an emoticon's favorite dessert?

An emochi. (search up mochi)

What is a rat's favorite dessert?

A chocolate mousse cake.

Why are they called s’mores?

Because you always want another one!

What is the biggest candy in the world?

Candy Borobudur.

Do you think Mars prefers Sour Orbiters sweet?

Orbiter: "Or bitter?"

My cat is red and brown and her bones are crunchy, so does that mean she is a Kit Kat?

What do you call a bee’s love?

Honey.

Why did Helen Keller’s boyfriend have wax on his finger? Because he was whispering sweet nothings into her ear!

Why did the silly girl put sugar under her pillow?

She wanted to have sweet dreams. 😂

What did the potato say when the sweet potato told it to hurry?

I yam.

What kind of bear has no teeth?

A gummy bear.

Life is like a box of chocolates, they f*cking melt :)

I had a dream about being forced to eat a huge marshmallow.

I woke up and my pillow was gone.

When my friend eats a mint, I say, "Hey, is it mint to be sweet?"