Suspect jokes

A cop pulls a guy over for suspected drunk driving. The cop opens the door and the driver falls out onto the asphalt. The cop says, "Holy shit, you're so drunk, you can't even walk!" The drunk says, "No shit, that's why I took my car!"

Imposter: Did you do Sawcon task?

Crewmate: What's Sawcon?

Imposter: Sawcon deez nuts!

There was a murder. The detective suspected the artist first... because he was sketchy.

Curiosity killed the cat.

But for a while, I was a suspect.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson replied, "I see millions of stars." "What does that tell you?" Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets." "Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo." "Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three." "Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant." "Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow." "What does it tell you, Holmes?" Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!"

How did the villagers identify the masked rapist?

He was the only one in the village who believed the victim.

They told me I could never be an actor.

No one suspected me when they went missing the next day.

Someone kills an emotionally weak person by hard words and bullying.

No one will suspect the killer was anyone who took part.

I keep looking for my girlfriend's killer, but no one wants to do it.