Surprise jokes

I brought my girlfriend home and introduced her to my family. My kids liked her, but my wife seemed upset.

I bought my son a fridge for Christmas. I can't wait to see his face light up when he opens it.

"Son, I found a condom in your room."

"Gee, thanks, Grandpa!"

"Why are you calling me Grandpa?"

"Because I couldn't find it yesterday."

All of these jokes are so dark, I'm surprised cops haven't shot them.

What are the three worst words to hear while you are having sex?

Honey, I'm home!