Suck jokes
I sucked your mom's anus.
Me and my mom order Chinese food.
My mom grabs the egg roll and starts licking it up and down and sucking on it in front of the Chinese delivery guy. I said, "Why are you doing that?" Then my mom says, "I love him a long time so we don't have to pay for the food."
Me: Have you ever went sky diving?
Friend: No.
Me: Well don't, it sucks.
Friend: Why?
Me: They gave me a parachute and I lived.
Person: You suck!
Me: Tell that to your mom, and she’ll say the same thing, honey. 😎
You know, eBay sucks. I was looking for a lighter, and it gave me 18,906 matches.
Roses are red.
Grass is green.
I think of you sucking my peen.
Guy #1 is being picked up by Guy #2 from the hospital.
Guy #1: Oh man, I just got my prostate checked. It's not looking good.
Guy #2: Why, what is it?
Guy #1: Turns out, I have prostate cancer.
Guy #2: Oh man that sucks...
Guy #1: Yeah, it's a real pain in the ass!
Why did the turkey suck my bacon? Because it wanted cum in its mouth.
What's a similarity between blondes and a vacuum cleaner?
You have to turn them on before they start to suck.
My new leaf blower doesn't work. It sucks.
You all suck!
Suck my dick!
(Ron Jeremy)
You suck.
Jokes suck.
You're like a vacuum cleaner. Why? Because you suck.
My boyfriend recently asked me to suck his cock. I was kinda nervous because I’ve never tasted a dick, but he said it doesn’t taste that bad, so I’ll give it a shot.
There was a cleaning lady with a vacuum cleaner. She sucked!
Two men are in a rainforest, and one of them is peeing. Suddenly, a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the man’s penis. The other man says, “Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!” He didn’t have enough time to load the man into the car, so he went straight to the hospital. The man told the doctor what happened, and the doctor said, “You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out.” The man went back to the other man and said, “There is no hope, you will die.”
Suck my ass, guys!
When my friend says I suck at something, I'm like, "U swallow."