Suck

Suck jokes

A teacher asks a boy in her class, "If 3 birds are sitting on a fence, and one is shot, how many are left?" The boy responds with, "None." The teacher asks why. "They would all fly away after hearing the gunshot." The teacher says, "The answer is 2, but I like the way you think."

Later, the boy asks the teacher, "3 women walk out of an ice cream shop. One is eating with a spoon, one is licking it, and one is sucking it. Which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one sucking it." The boy says, "No, the one wearing the ring, but I like the way you think."

  • 6

    • What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common? They both come on little white crackers.

  • 1

    • What did one condom say to the other condom as they were passing a gay bar? "Let's go get shit faced!"

    Ur mum smells like shit, yeah, so she sucks a man off and washing machine. Yo, don’t at me, yeah, you chicken breath.

    I caught my mom licking up and down and deep throating a banana. I said, "Why are you doing that?" She replied, "I’m doing it for practice for who could suck the best dick contest in the neighborhood."

    How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

    One to change the bulb and one to suck my dick.

    Don't go to ghostposter.com. The person or persons who run that site are a fucking bunch if dumb fucking cunts who can suck my big cock.

  • 5

    • A is for Amy who fell down the stairs.

    B is for Basil assaulted by bears.

    C is for Clara who wasted away.

    D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh.

    E is for Ernest who choked on a peach.

    F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech.

    G is for George smothered under a rug.

    H is for Hector done in by a thug.

    I is for Ida who drowned in a lake.

    J is for James who took lye by mistake.

    K is for Kate who was struck with an axe.

    L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks.

    M is for Maud who was swept out to sea.

    N is for Neville who died of ennui.

    O is for Olive run through with an awl.

    P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl.

    Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire.

    R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire.

    S is for Susan who perished of fits.

    T is for Titus who flew into bits.

    U is for Una who slipped down a drain.

    V is for Victor squashed under a train.

    W is for Winnie embedded in ice.

    X is for Xerxes devoured by mice.

    Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in.

    Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin.

    My new stepfather told me that I'm his new son, so I said okay.

    My stepfather said that my and your mom have a few things in common. I said, "Yeah, like what?" My stepfather said, "Well, you came out of your mother's pussy; I eat your mother's pussy. You used to suck on your mother's tits; now I suck on your mother's tits. Your mother used to smack you in the ass when you act up; now I smack your mom in the ass now. Your mother calls me daddy; now I am your new daddy."