Suck!
Straw Jokes
What fruit do scarecrows love the most?
Straw-berries.
An old lady walks into an ice cream store. A clerk greets her and says, "What will it be today, ma'am? We have every flavor you can imagine." The old lady says, "Well, I guess I'd like a quart of chocolate ice cream." The clerk says, "Sorry, ma'am, we're out of chocolate today. Any other flavor we'll have." "Ok," she replies, "Why don't you just give me a pint of chocolate ice cream?" The clerk says a little louder in case she's hard of hearing, "Sorry, ma'am, but we're fresh out of chocolate ice cream." The old lady says, "Oh, ok. Why don't you just get me a cone with one scoop of chocolate ice cream?"
Finally, totally exasperated, the clerk says, "Wait a minute, lady. Can you spell 'Van' as in vanilla?" "Why of course, young man," she says, "V-A-N." "Right," the clerk says, "Can you spell 'Straw' as in strawberry?" "Well of course, 'Straw'," she replied. "Ok, then," he says, "Now spell 'Fuck' as in chocolate." She says, "There's no 'Fuck' in chocolate." He says, "That's what I've been trying to tell you... THERE'S NO FUCKING CHOCOLATE!!!"
Are the three little pigs orphans because their mom kicked them out of the house?
How are a mouse and a bale of hay alike?
The cat'll eat it (the cattle eat it).
How do you get 500 dead babies into a car?
A blender.
How do you get 500 dead babies out of a car?
A straw.
How do you fit 1000 babies in a swimming pool?
A blender.
How do you get them out? Slurp them up with a straw.
How do you get 100 babies in the back of a pick up truck? Blender.
How do you get them back out? Straw.
How do you fit 15 babies into a shoe box?
A blender.
How do you get them out of the shoe box? A straw.
