Sporting event jokes

What’s something you can say during a pregnancy test and during a sporting event?

"We’ve got a runner!"

What has 5 legs, 3 arms, and 2 feet?

The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

Your mom is so stupid that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Yo mama's so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl!

What's long, hard, and bloody?

The Boston Marathon.

Jomama so dumb, she brung a spoon to the Super Bowl.

I kicked a soccer ball at the kid in the wheelchair. Now we're playing Rocket League.

The Somalian Olympics Team has just apologized to the Olympic Committee after realizing that sailing and shooting were two separate events.

What's a lesbian's favorite sport? Dodgeball.

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the Super Bowl game.

They had great seats right behind their team's bench.

After the game, the guy asked his girlfriend how she liked the experience.

"Oh, I really liked it!" she replied, "Especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."

Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?"

She said, "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!' I’m like, hellooooo! It’s only 25 cents!"

Once I went to watch a match in Portugal. It was between Penaldo and his kids. The referee was Georgiana (his wife). Mpaypal and Igayspeed were also there. The match began, and his kids scored two goals in the first 10 minutes. Then, when the match was about to end, Penaldo got angry and asked his wife for penalties. His wife declined, and he tortured and beat her up and took 10 penalties (missed 7 of them) but won 3-2. Shame on you, Penaldo! 😡😡😡