Spacecraft jokes

Yo Momma so slutty she uses a SpaceX rocket as a dildo.

I wish my name was Voyager 2...

So I could have the first encounter with Uranus. :)

When you realize the shuttle blew up.

Then you realize you're on the shuttle.

What were the astronauts' last words before the shuttle blew up?

"What does this button do...?"

What does the starship Enterprise & toilet paper have in common?

Answer: They both circle Ur-Anus looking for Kling-Ons!

That's the last time we park the TARDIS outside the portaloos at Glastonbury!

NASA is going to probe Uranus, and it might take a while to get there.

What do astronauts 👩‍🚀 do when they’re on break?

They eat launch. 🚀🥪

There were 3 blonde scientists...wait that’s not the joke. The first one said “we are going to pilot the first unmanned spacecraft to land on the sun.”

The second one said “but we can’t do that - if we get within 5 feet of the sun we’ll freeze to death!”

The third blonde says “so we go at night.”

A group of Astronauts, a Mechanic, a Pilot, & a Communications operator are on a very important mission to Mars when one of their solar panels gets grazed by a meteorite.

And so the Astronauts quickly assemble in the hull to wait for orders from the ground. Once the Communications operator turned on coms, their man on the ground told the Pilot to continue their course & to send the Mechanic out to fix the problem. As the Mechanic worked on finishing repairing the solar panel, the Pilot & Communications operator told each other dark jokes when out of nowhere a meteorite field appeared! The Ground operator frighteningly shouted "Get him back in the ship!" to the Communications operator. "Chill out, he'll be fine," The Pilot assured him. "Get him the hell out of there, that's an order!" The Ground operator argued. Then thirty seconds later the Communications operator came back from the air shoot & asked, "Now what?"

The Stephen Hawking space telescope will be launched next year. Apparently, it will have four wheels and run off Windows 7.

Uranus floats around in space.

Why was the astronaut washing her hands?

She was getting ready to eat launch.

Why couldn't the NASA astronaut enter his rocket to leave Earth?

There wasn't enough space to fly it.

NASA just found evidence of water on Mars. Mars 1, Africa 0.