SOS jokes

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(I'm Asian so I can say this.) If I say that we are made of money, that just means you can fit pennies through our little eye slits, and we can save them for you in there!

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    • My girlfriend called me a "bot" in Fortnite, so I called her "sandwich maker 3000."

    Yo mama so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it's still printing to this day!

    You're so retarded, if there was a clone of you that was supposed to be smart, it would still be retarded.

    One day I walk up to an emo kid. I realized he had a fresh cut, so I grab my hand and slap his wrist and told him, "I like ya cut, G!"

    Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately?

    Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it.

    Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow.

    I saw a small kid crying, so I asked him, "Where's your mom?" but he started crying, so I left the funeral. 🙂🙂

    Jaylie 😠: I don't care, what he said was so out of line!

    Harvey 😁: It's funny!

    Jaylie😠 : He said "Stupid, silly bitch face I raised! I should have known!" That's not funny, Harv!

    Harvey 🙁: Come on Jay. Give Chris a chance?

    Jaylie 🙄: Sorry but I'm a stupid, silly bitch face he raised. He should have known!

    Harvey😟: That's not true!

    Jaylie 😣: He even made fun of Kalierien. She is so sensitive!

    Harvey 😡: SHUSH!!!!

    Kalierien😡: Hi guys, how's your day?

    Harvey😁: Good!

    Jaylie 🤬: Mine was like living in hell!

    Kalierien: 🤬SAME!!!!!

    Neona: Gwen?

    Gwen: Yes... what can I do for you?

    Neona: You were so right! Mr. Smith has sexual problems and is a fool! I am so sorry that you were not a liar! PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!!!

    Gwen: You should have listened. Plus I'm over it!

    Neona: Are you mad at me?

    Gwen: Me? NEVER! Sometimes we listen and don't listen.

    My friend said, "Why do you have depression? There is so much happiness in the world." And I said, "Why do you have asthma? There is so much air in the world."

    A flock of swallows were migrating south as a jet flew past them.

    "Why was that one flying so fast?" asked one. Another answers, "Can't you see his tail is burning?"

    When his dick is really, really small, but you pretend it is so big it hurts so you don’t make him feel bad 'cause he is a nice guy.

    Little Johnny went to school and right before class started, he pulled down his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." After that, his teacher told him to put on his pants and go to the office. The principal asked him what he did, so he pulled down his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." Then the principal called his mom. The mom got there and took little Johnny home.

    They got in the car, and his mother asked, "Johnny, what did you do this time?" So Johnny pulled his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." Once they got home, his dad was off work and heard that Johnny was coming home early from school. Once again he asked Johnny what he did. Johnny pulled down his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." After that, his dad was surprised, so his dad pulled down his pants and said, "Big whale, big whale."

  • 1

    • Yo mama so fat!

    She sunk the Titanic. She put on a blue coat and they thought she was an iceberg!