SOS jokes

My grief counselor died. He was so good, I don’t even care.

Why was the orphan so famous?

Because when they asked him go big or go home, he only had one option.

I tried to name my grass "emo" so it will cut itself.

You're so ugly the densest told you to lay face down.

Little Johnny was in class and the teacher said, "Okay class, what's behind my back?" She said, "It's round and red," and Sally said, "Ooh, ooh, it's an apple!" And the teacher said, "No, but I like where you're going with this." So now the teacher said, "It is also used to make multiple things," and Sally said, "Ooh, ooh, it's a container of paint!" And the teacher said, "Again, no, but I like where you're going with this." And the teacher said, "It's a ball of yarn," as she pulled it out from behind her back. Then Little Johnny said, "Okay, my turn." He said, "What's in my pocket? It's round and it has a head." And the teacher said, "That's enough, Johnny, now sit down." And Little Johnny pulled the thing out of his pocket and said, "It's a nickel, but I like where you're going with this."

Little Johnny asked the teacher why you were no shirt. Teacher says, "Because I want to." The teacher drops her pencil and picks it up. The class starts laughing.

"What's so funny?" A kid took off your bra, and we see your squish sexy boobs.

If a woman gets raped, just walk away, don't bother. Cheer on the rapist if you want.

They believe they are equal to men, right? So they are able to fight back, right? Then prove it! My EQUALITY!

You so fat you got thrown out the window, but the window threw you back inside.

Last night I had sex and she said, "Stop talking about s***, OMG!" and I made her scream so loud she said, "Her balls hurt!"

The teacher asked the class what they wanted to be when they grew up.

Johnny said when he grows up he's going to be a motherfucking hustler. He's going to have a wife and live in a big house in the country with maids and butlers and drive a Rolls-Royce, and he's also going to have an apartment in the city where his side bitch is going to live. He's going to buy her expensive jewelry, whatever she wants: cars, diamonds, clothes, shoes.

The teacher didn't know what to say, so she calls on Sally. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Sally said, "I want to be Johnny's bitch."

Yo momma so fat that people jumped on her cuz they thought she was a school bus.

Your forehead is so big, a whole jungle grew on it.

Yo mama so fat, One Punch Man had to punch 3 times.

Yo mama so ugly, when she went to unlock her phone with her face, it said, "disconnected."

Yo mama so ugly, Itachi couldn't look at her to put her in a genjutsu.

Yo mama so fat when I pushed her into the jacuzzi, it caused a level 8 tsunami.

Yo mama is so fat that Naruto couldn’t make enough shadow clones to surround her.

Yo mama is so fat that I could write 3 paragraphs, and she still wouldn’t fit.

Yo mama is so fat that Naruto couldn't make enough shadow clones to surround her.

All I can see when I pass Saturn is Uranus because it's so big.