SOS jokes
Your life literally is as valuable as a summer ant. I'm just gonna stomp you, you're gonna keep coming back, I'm gonna seal up all my cracks, you're gonna keep coming back, why? Cause you keep smelling the syrup, you worthless bitchass nlgga! You're gonna stay on my dick until you die. You serve no purpose in life, your purpose in life is to be on my stream sucking on my dick daily. Your purpose in life is to be in that chat blowing a dick daily. Your life is nothing, you serve ZERO purpose. You should kill yourself, NOW! And give somebody else a piece of that oxygen and ozone layer that's covered up so we can breathe inside this blue trapped bubble. Cause what are you here for? To worship me? Kill yourself! I mean that with a hundred percent with a thousand percent.
A guy went back to his apartment. Five minutes later, he said to the receptionist, "It doesn't fit!" So she gave him a new key.
Your forehead is so big that you can see the whole world before you do!
So, little Johnny is walking down the street and asks a stranger, "Sir, what are hormones?"
Then the man replies, "The moans of a fucking whore!"
Yo mama so fat.
She is the reason why people think that the Earth is flat.
"Joe Biden's mom is so fat, she's very fat folks, she's so fat I'm gonna use her to build my new wall"-Trump
I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had, I said, "Yes."
Yo mama so fat that the weighing scale said, "To be continued..."
Yo mama is so ugly that her birth certificate is an apology.
You're so ugly not even your mom thinks you're beautiful.
In the Bible, it says Jesus died for our sins, but he came back to life, so what did he sacrifice?
Was it a weekend to wash away our sins?
My sister said I was only allowed to grate cheese, so I said to her that I’d prove her wrong.
The next day my mum asked me why my cheese was tan, and I said it was my own special recipe. My mum loved the cheese but she didn’t like it much after the funeral.
So here's Uranus, where's my anus?
Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? The Constitution says you do, and so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent, and that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque!
Yo mama is so fat, a picture of her would fall off the wall.
Yo mama so fat that she had to wear a yellow jacket and everyone shouted, "Taxi!"
Everything is now so expensive in Africa that witches don’t serve food in dreams again. Am I lying? Okay, when last did you eat in your dreams?
Yo mama so OLD...
Her first Christmas... WAS the FIRST CHRISTMAS!
Yo mama so stupid... she stared at an orange juice carton because it said, "CONCENTRATE!"
Yo mama so ugly... when she went to the haunted house... she came out... WITH A JOB APPLICATION!