Shrek once went to the movies and when he sat down he felt this slimy and sticky feeling on the chair, so he stood up and complained about his chair being dirty... until he realized that he forgot to wipe earlier... so he stopped complaining and went back to his chair and sat back down.
What's yellow, slimy, and smells like bananas?
Monkey puke.
What's long, hard, and slimy?
A bar of soap.
What card is the slowest and slimiest?
Ace-nail.
What’s red, slimy, and makes my wife scream? Two failed abortions!
What's red, green, and slimy and slides down the chip shop window?
Abortion of chips.
