"if u can make them laugh and giggle, u can make their booty shake and jiggle"
![1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident](/2/65cf7ea8a37d5421dd92e8dc.jpg)
How do you make the world’s greatest Harlem Shake?
Throw a flashbang into a room full of epileptics.
What's a Parkinson's victim least favorite song?
Taylor Swift - Shake it off
tell an old person to pretend shaking salt in their mouth... you'll see
Ms Katie- I heard about a Vegan baby Mom- here’s your Happy meal Ms Katie- that’s not vegan did you trick me Kids- Yeah Ms Katie- that’s it little baby Jimmy I’m give you shaking baby syndrome
Mom- Please don’t hurt my son *Ms Katie shakes Jimmy Mom- I’m secretly a cop and your arested
What do you call a shake? Shake ya booty!!
so I and my friend were talking this time, I asked them what they would do if they ever met rengoku they said that they would probably like shake his hand or sm but I said I would lick his forehead. wtf
You know what i like most about people with parkinsons... Their Hand-shake
When youre watching gnomeo and juliet 2 and your dad walks in on the gnome shaking his butt
A women brought her hamster to the vet. The vet takes a look and concludes the hamster died.
The woman doesn't believe it and request further investigation. So the vet lets in a Labrador. The dog sniffs around the hamster and shortly after he produces a sad whine, shakes his had and leaves the room with his tail low.
The woman, still not convinced, demands more examinations. The vet gets one of his cats. It walks around the hamster and pets it. After some time it shakes her head and runs of quickly.
"Fine, I believe you now," the woman says, my beloved hamster is dead. "I'm sorry for your loss", the vet replies. "Your bill for this visit will be 1505 dollars" says the vet. "what? 1505 dollars just to tell me my hamster is dead?" The woman says shocked.
The vet replies: "No, 5 dollars to tell your hamster died, 500 dollars for the lab report and 1000 dollars for the CAT scan."
I was playing football with my friends and i got tackled and got a penalty suddenly the ground started shaking and penaldo emerged from the mud and he till the penalty but since it wasn’t andorra he missed. Shame on you penaldo!
Ayo fake.guy
Wtf
Say the drive through at MacDonald order (don't say the sake) but when you get it ask them my sake and say sake that ass
It was Christmas time for Little Johnny. He was going to make some cookies and milk for Santa until he heard shaking and moaning from his mother's bedroom. He thinks, "Meh, Dad's probably back from the grocery store". But 2 seconds later, he heard a "Ho Ho Ho Oh YEAH" and then a slap. He opens the door. He finds Santa riding on his 19 yr old mom. He asks, "Santa, when did you get here and WHAT are you doing?". Santa replied, "Your mother asked for her 'milk jar' to be filled, and that's what I am doing." Johnny says, "Oh." "But, Mom, you told me Dad was here, well where is he?"
(Santa winks at you)
Kamala Harris is so ugly that Joe Biden is shaking hands with invisible people!
