Sexual behavior jokes
What’s the difference between a thief and a pervert?
One will snatch your watch, the other will watch your snatch.
A deaf couple wants to know when to have sex.
The wife says, "If you want to have sex, squeeze my tits once. If you don't want to have sex, squeeze my tits twice."
The husband says, "OK, if you want to have sex, pull my dick once. If you don't want to have sex, pull my dick 437 times."
Mom: Daddy, stop!
Me: No!
Mom: Ok, I just wanted you to do it like your father.
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: 1 to actually change the light bulb and the other 98 to suck each others' cocks and shit like that.
My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10.
Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting 9!
That's the best I've done so far.
What is the difference between a man performing anilingus on a woman and a man performing cunnilingus on a woman?
If a man is performing anilingus on a woman, it is not classified as heterosexual sodomy, you fucking idiot!!!!!
What is the difference between a woman performing anilingus on a man and a woman performing fellatio on a man?
If a woman is performing anilingus on a man, it is not classified as heterosexual sodomy, you fucking idiot!!!!
My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex on a scale of 1-10.
Last night we tried anal, and she kept shouting “9!”
That's the best I've done so far.
Did you ever receive an anonymous blowjob from another male under the handicapped stall inside the public men's restroom at a rest area and did you have an orgasm and was it the best orgasm that you ever had?