Self-importance jokes

I'm no astronomer, but I’m pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.

What’s better than the best thing ever?

Me being mod.

I know I'm valuable, I come with a barcode ;)

They say people are 75% water.

But I'm 100% useless.

It's ironic that the more other people love you, the more you hate yourself.

Like it if you judge people's hairlines.

Sometimes I feel ugly, then I think of my sister and feel better.