Self-importance jokes
I'm no astronomer, but I’m pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.
What’s better than the best thing ever?
Me being mod.
"irresistible to women"
They say people are 75% water.
But I'm 100% useless.
The other day at school we had to write down our hero and what we would do if they walked into our house. I got off easy because my hero is Stephen Hawking.
It's ironic that the more other people love you, the more you hate yourself.
Sometimes I feel ugly, then I think of my sister and feel better.
My friends: Ugh, why are you so lazy and no fun?
My parents: Why can't you be like your siblings?
My teacher: I don't care if you're depressed, focus on your study!
The songs: We understand you :)