Seam jokes

My jacket tore a little bit. It's a ripper.

I need to go to the tailor, or so it seams.

What do you call a crease join?

Hahaha

Children should never run with scissors, and lesbians should never scissor with the runs.

What's long, black and full of seamen? A submarine.

My wrists have a different texture pack than the rest of me.

How do you cut the sea in half?

With a sea-saw.

Q. What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked?

A. A seatbelt.