Seam jokes

My jacket tore a little bit. It's a ripper.

I need to go to the tailor, or so it seams.

What do you call a crease join?

Hahaha

Children should never run with scissors, and lesbians should never scissor with the runs.

My wrists have a different texture pack than the rest of me.

I was in the corner shop and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!

You know how in Pinocchio the French puppets have the thigh rings?

Well, I got them too! Only red and thinner.

That awkward moment when you're checking yourself out in the window of a car and you realize there's somebody inside.