Seam jokes

My jacket tore a little bit. It's a ripper.

I need to go to the tailor, or so it seams.

What do you call a crease join?

Hahaha

What's long, black and full of seamen? A submarine.

Q. What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked?

A. A seatbelt.

You know how in Pinocchio the French puppets have the thigh rings?

Well, I got them too! Only red and thinner.

Seat belts are like the condom for cars.

Are you a pirate? Because I have a lot of seamen waiting for you 😉