Scan Jokes

Yo mama is so dumb, when she had a brain scan the result was 404...

Why do emo kids cost so much? Because they’re the only people you can scan at the checkout machine.

If you scanned my thigh it would show up as a package of Oreos on the screen

My ex boyfriend tried to scan himself at the supermarket check out for fun.

“See how I can’t scan myself? It’s because I’m priceless”

I decided I’d scan my wrist too, just for fun.

Found out I’m worth $3.97

there are perks to bringing a emo to the grocery store you can get coupons by scanning their wrist

I went to the store the other day and scanned an emo's arm. It gave me a discount!

What happens when an emo goes to the grocery store The cashier scans there wrist to

Im worth something, I got a barcode on my arm!

I can get my grandma 50% off from her groceries by just scanning my wrist.

I was joking about self harm to my friend and she told me to CUT it out, I couldn't even laugh. When we were at the self checkout she started scanning my arms, I asked her what she was doing she said, ̈Trying to see if it beeps, ya think id get it to work if I scanned your thighs? ̈ I said, ̈Nah bro you'd overload the system if you put it there. ̈

A women brought her hamster to the vet. The vet takes a look and concludes the hamster died.

The woman doesn't believe it and request further investigation. So the vet lets in a Labrador. The dog sniffs around the hamster and shortly after he produces a sad whine, shakes his had and leaves the room with his tail low.

The woman, still not convinced, demands more examinations. The vet gets one of his cats. It walks around the hamster and pets it. After some time it shakes her head and runs of quickly.

"Fine, I believe you now," the woman says, my beloved hamster is dead. "I'm sorry for your loss", the vet replies. "Your bill for this visit will be 1505 dollars" says the vet. "what? 1505 dollars just to tell me my hamster is dead?" The woman says shocked.

The vet replies: "No, 5 dollars to tell your hamster died, 500 dollars for the lab report and 1000 dollars for the CAT scan."

i scanned an emo girl's arm the other day. Now i own her, only 3.99 with tax. Thats a steal and a half woopeeee!

Why don’t emo girls go to self checkout

Because every time they scan it scans twice.

Scan my wrist for 75% off!!

Why does the emos mom like taking her son to the store?Because the cashier can scan his wrist for discounts

When me and my friend went to the market, my friend tried to scan my arm and I asked her what she was doing and she answered "Oh I had to buy you so I don't steal you"