Robot Jokes - Page 3 - Worst Jokes Ever

Bar

A robot walks into a bar and orders a martini.

The bartender is flabbergasted that a robot can do that.

"New around here?" said the bartender.

"Nah, been here a while," said the robot.

Bartender "You can talk?"

Robot "Yeah, pretty cool, huh."

Bartender "Why do you want a martini?"

Robot "Oh, I'm just in the mood for one, you know?"

The bartender is shocked to see a robot making completely normal small talk.

The robot seems to be just like a normal human.

"Wow, who programmed you?" asked the bartender.

"The top minds in the world," said the robot.

The robot speaks again, "I have a question for you..."

Bartender, "What?"

"Why did you read this entire story? It does not have a punchline. I just wasted your time. Get bamboozled, nerd!"

Road

Why did the robot cross the road?

Because he was programmed by the chicken!

Memes

AI

Shitpost master general

A four-panel comic strip. Panel 1: A robot covered in paint splatters and wearing a red beret stands with a paintbrush in front of an easel, talking to an older human figure. The human says in a speech bubble: "SORRY, BUT A.I. CANNOT ATTEND ART SCHOOL." Panel 2: Close-up of the robot looking sad, holding the paintbrush. Panel 3: The robot wipes the paintbrush under its nose, creating a black smudge. Panel 4: The robot looks forward with the black smudge now resembling a small mustache (like Adolf Hitler's), with an angry expression and glowing yellow eyes. The text 'STONETOSS.COM' is visible vertically on the right edge of the first two panels.

Stephen Hawking

What happens to Stephen Hawking when he logs in to his account on Google when it says, "I am not a robot?"

Lightbulb

Why did the robot eat a lightbulb?

'Cause he was in need of a light snack!

Gasoline

What happens when the terminator pees?

Gasoline descent.

Question

What is one question on a tech test you should always ask before getting down?

What in the Robot!?

Stephen Hawking

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food? His left shoulder.

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite robot? Him as his shoulder/wheelchair.

Beep

Beep bop beep beep beep beep beep bop beep boop beep boop beep beebeebeep

Beep bop beep beep beep beep beep bop beep boop beep boop beep beebeebeep

Beep bop beep beep beep beep beep bop beep boop beep boop beep beebeebeep

Beep bop beep beep beep beep beep bop beep boop beep boop beep beebeebeep

Beep bop beep beep beep beep beep bop beep boop beep boop beep beebeebeep

Beep bop beep beep beep beep beep bop beep boop beep boop beep beebeebeep

Memes

Man

A man with dark skin and sunglasses, a gun in his hand, has been photoshopped over a movie poster and given the name "The Lubricator". The man also has a red dot over one eye, like a robot.

Misinterpretation

The first image shows a blue-haired furry character with cat ears and a tail, making peace signs. The character is wearing a black t-shirt that says 'TRANS RIGHTS ARE HUMAN RIGHTS' over a background with colors of the transgender flag (pink, blue, and white). The second image shows Optimus Prime from the Transformers franchise, partially obscured against a red background.

Sonic

A text message conversation shows the question "What's wrong?" with the answer "Whenever Sonic beats Eggman in the final level, Eggman always outruns him and gets to his giant robot before Sonic catches him, beating Sonic's average running speed of 767.269 miles per hour which is the speed of sound. This means that Dr Eggman is actually the fastest thing alive." followed by the reply "nothing". The message is shown on a white background with a phone keyboard shown at the bottom.

Gender

I also got mine replaced, hehe, I have a special surprised for you UwU

The image is a four-panel grid. The first panel shows the text 'Male and Female' next to a figure in a red robe. The second panel shows 'Non-Binary' next to an identical figure. The third panel shows 'Impossible to tell under all the machinery and tubes' next to another identical figure. The fourth panel shows the text 'Gender is irrelevant meatbag, I have replaced my genitalia with a neutron laser' next to the same figure now raising its arms.

Foot

The image is a male height chart. At the top, for the height of 6'3, 6'2 and 6'1, is a tall robot. For the height of 5'11, 5'10 and 5'9, there's a crying Wojak, with the text "I am six foot!!! I am six foot!!!" under it. For the heights from 5'8 to 5'3, a cute kitten is pictured in a towel.

Breakup

A blue and black Bionicle figure is shown in the center of the image. To the left, a text box reads, "I'm breaking up with you" and another reads, "What?". To the right, a text box reads, "GRRR!" and underneath, another reads, "angry bionicle".

Toaster

TOASTER?

The image shows a view of the Martian landscape as if seen through the camera of a space rover. In the corner is a drawing of a person wearing a hood and goggles. Above the image is the text "TOASTER?" and below it is text that says, "THE LAST IMAGE BEFORE THE MARS ROVER WENT OFFLINE."

Regret

A notification from iRobot at 10:00 AM states: "Floor Slut requires your attention. Floor Slut is stuck near a cliff." Above this is text stating: "I have zero regrets on naming my Roomba."

Bionicle

posting Bionicle memes till I'm famous

A Bionicle figure is shown in full red and gold armor. The text above says, "This is the ideal male body. You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like."

T Rex

A reincarnated and heavily modified T-Rex is something that's been on my drawing board for years

A black and white drawing shows a large, mechanical T-Rex with metal parts and weapons. To the left, a figure in a robe raises their arms and yells "YEEESSSS!!!". To the right, a figure with mechanical arms holds a staff, and the caption reads "Praise the Omnissiah!".

Earth

Controversial MrBeast video

MrBeast is in space with Earth exploding behind him. The text says "I Blew up the whole entire Earth."

Community

Poll

should I get a glass eye or robot eye ?

Is Rapbot a freakin whigga?

You're right Hailey. I'm not you. I'm your robot clone

Robot Community