Reunion jokes

What do you call an orphan’s family reunion?

Me time.

Hii! Oh my gosh. It has been forever! How have you guys been? Comment your favorite movie!!!! <3

What’s the difference between 69 and a family reunion?

You only see one asshole in 69.

If you're in Alabama, family reunions are basically speed dating events.

I'm sorry, orphans, that you're getting bullied. Oh, I have to go, my MOM's calling me. We're going on a road trip to go to a FAMILY reunion!

A Chinese boy never met his parents after they were killed in WW2, so when he learned where they were buried, he quickly rushed there.

He sat down in front of their graves and prayed, "I want to see your face again, mommy..." A miracle happened; his mother rose up from the graves and hugged him.

The boy cried then said, "I want to see you too, dad." He looked at his father's grave, but nothing happened.

Suddenly, a Japanese soldier came up behind him and asked, "Were you looking for me?"

Imagine if Batman had a family reunion!

Son: Dad, I have black skin and you have white skin, are you sure you're my parents?

Dad: Oh... well I never thought it would come to this, or to your head that you were kidnapped...

Son: Am I kidnapped?

Dad: Well, you're adopted, and if you want to see your biological parents, they’ll be waiting for you in heaven.

I wish my dad was home. I haven’t seen him since the shot of 2008.

So, I hooked up with a girl at a party, but I forgot that it was a family reunion.

(SWEET HOME ALABAMA STARTS PLAYING)

Alabama.

Every time there's a family reunion, a baby is born 9 months later.

So, I was fucking my daughter the other day and my wife walked in... I don't know what was funnier: the look on her face, or that the abortion clinic let me keep her.

I hate family reunions.

I see too many of my ex's there.

I think I was a little too harsh on Jason.

Anybody who was conceived in the back of a pickup truck during a family reunion is bound to have a few issues.

Three sons left home, went out into the world, and each of them made a lot of money. During a reunion, they discussed the gifts they'd given to their elderly mum.

"I built a big house for our mum," said the first.

"I sent her a Mercedes, with a chauffeur," said the second.

And the third smiled and said, "I think my gift was the best. You know how much mum enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know that her eyes aren't so good anymore? Well, I sent her a remarkable cockatoo that recites the entire Bible, both old and new testaments. It took a priest twelve years to teach him. That cockatoo is the only one in the world that can do it. All mum has to do is name the chapter and verse, and the cockatoo recites it."

A few days later, mum sent out her thankyou letters. She wrote to the first son,

"The house you built is so enormous that I only live in one room. The trouble is, I have to clean the whole house."

To the second son she said, "I'm far too old to travel anymore. I stay at home most of the time, so I've hardly used the Mercedes. In any case, the driver is so rude."

To the third son she wrote "Dearest Freddie. You have the good sense to know what your mum likes. The chicken was delicious!"

What do you call an orphan's family reunion? "Me time."

An elderly man was happy to finally see his wife again and was packing. He told everyone about the trip.

"I will see her in one week!"

A week later, he died.

Do you ever look at someone and think, "You must have been conceived at a family reunion"?

Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.

Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.

I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.

What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.

Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.

What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We Are Family.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.

What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.

What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.

Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.

What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.

Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.

What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.

Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.

Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.

Can't wait for the orphans to have their family reunion! Wait...