Railway jokes
How does a train dance?
It bogies!
What do you call a train that likes toffee?
A chew-chew train.
How does a train sneeze?
It goes, "A-choo choo!"
Is it normal my emo cousin's hobby is tying himself to train tracks?
A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.
His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"
The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."
Why can't a steam locomotive sit down?
Because it has a tender behind.
Yo mama is like train tracks; she gets laid all around the country.
Why couldn't the booty be a conductor?
It couldn't stay on track.
What's the slowest train in the world? A slow coach!
Which train is loaded with bubble gum?
A chew-chew train.
Why was the train late?
It kept getting sidetracked.
The first trains were often derailed. They had a bad track record.
East Richmond has a train station at East Richmond, but Richmond is better, why?
How does a train eat?
It goes, "chew chew."
East Richmond had a train station, but Richmond is better, why?
A blond-haired girl, a brown-haired girl, and a ginger-haired girl were out walking when they came across some tracks.
The brown-haired girl looked at them and said, "I think they are elephant tracks."
Then the ginger-haired girl looked at the tracks and said, "No way, they are definitely duck tracks."
Finally, the blond-haired girl bent down to examine the tracks when she got hit by the train.
Hey, look, it's that "TRAINS gender" guy. He says, "I like trains." Uh oh!
You're a train; you ran fast on these rails, but you gain nothing, you only gain pain.
Are you a ghost train? Because I am going to scream when I ride you.
Why did lil Timmy drop his lollies?
He was hit by a train.
There were three Indians that got kicked out of the tribe.
One said, "Me find food," and he came back with a decent size rabbit. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see rabbit, me shoot rabbit, and rabbit fall down dead."
The 2nd Indian, "Me find food." He came back with a good sized deer. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see deer, me shoot deer, deer fall down dead."
The third Indian said, "Me find food." He came back crawling, missing a leg and an arm, and he was all cut up. The others asked what happened. He said, "Me see train, me shoot train, train no stop!"
What do you need in order to crash a train?
A bad track record.