Railway jokes
Why couldn't the booty be a conductor?
It couldn't stay on track.
A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.
His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"
The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."
How does a train sneeze?
It goes, "A-choo choo!"
Which train is loaded with bubble gum?
A chew-chew train.
Are you a ghost train? Because I am going to scream when I ride you.
You're a train; you ran fast on these rails, but you gain nothing, you only gain pain.
How does a train eat?
It goes, "chew chew."
How does a train dance?
It bogies!
What's the slowest train in the world? A slow coach!
Why was the train late?
It kept getting sidetracked.
Is it normal my emo cousin's hobby is tying himself to train tracks?
What do you call a train that likes toffee?
A chew-chew train.
Why can't a steam locomotive sit down?
Because it has a tender behind.
Why did lil Timmy drop his lollies?
He was hit by a train.
Yo mama is like train tracks; she gets laid all around the country.
What do you need in order to crash a train?
A bad track record.
There were three Indians that got kicked out of the tribe.
One said, "Me find food," and he came back with a decent size rabbit. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see rabbit, me shoot rabbit, and rabbit fall down dead."
The 2nd Indian, "Me find food." He came back with a good sized deer. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see deer, me shoot deer, deer fall down dead."
The third Indian said, "Me find food." He came back crawling, missing a leg and an arm, and he was all cut up. The others asked what happened. He said, "Me see train, me shoot train, train no stop!"