Puns
Credit to my boy tippecanoe3 for this joke.
What do you call it when Panera isn’t hungry?
Panera fed.
Credit to RogueRobot for this one:
What does Panera sleep in?
Panera bed.
What do you call a piece of paper? A piece of paper.
My mom tells me to stop with the suicide jokes, and I replied with, "It's not that deep."
I would make a joke about Silver the Hedgehog... but it's no use!
What do you do when a Panera Bread panera breads?
Panera Bread.
Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"
Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*
What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
My mom was telling me about different pastas. So many pastabilities!
I fell into a water bed with super soil. Next thing I'm in a flower bed.
What happens when a battery commits a crime? They get charged!
Enough with the Nazi jokes.
They make me führeious!
I once called a depressed guy [to ask] why he loves ropes so much, and he left HUNGing on the phone. (I'm not English, so I could've talked bad.)
Pretend you are an old man who is 77 years old and there are 7 doors, which door should you pick?
The seventh door.
Police arrested two kids yesterday. One was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one, and let the other one off.
"What time is it?"
"Daytime."
I taught my dog how to play the trumpet on the London Underground over the weekend.
He went from Barking to Tooting in just under 20 minutes.
Most people call it grave robbing...
I prefer to call it cryptocurrency.
Why are Asians so bad at baseball? ... Because they ate the bat!
What kind of music do wind turbines like?
They are big, heavy metal fans!
My wife told me I could never, ever build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!