Me at the Oscars when i see Jada Pinkett Smith, me, I said: "G.I. Jane 2, more like G.I Jada 2, can't wait to see it"
So will smith is laughing and then suddenly, Suddenly Will Smith walks up to me and punches me in the face
Me: "Ow, oh, wow. Will Smith just smacked the shit out of me.” My nigcka Smith goes: "KEEP MY WIFE'S NAME OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!" Me: "Maybe you should focus on keeping her friends out of hers"
So I walk in to a bar and There’s people waiting in line to punch me in the face
That’s the punch line
What kind of punch do little kids give to other little kids? The Sandy Hook.
What takes 10 seconds to go SLPAT! on the ground?
9/11 victim!
little william punched little johnny in the face. then little johnny says if u do that again im gonna turn your fucking nuts into coconut juice.
when you get mad just punch a orphan who are they going to tell their mom
Your mom's so fat that One Punch Man had to take two punches.
If your bored just punch an orphan it's not like they can tell their parents
A man walks into a bar and there is a line of people waiting to punch him. Yeah that was the punch line.
want to know what i do in my freetime
punch an orphan cuz what are they going to do tell their mom
I was walking down the streets of Manchester when suddenly I saw Penaldo getting arrested! I heard the officer say “This time I give you warning, there will be no penalty”
That’s when Penaldo asked “No penalty?!” and punched the police officer.
Shame on you Penaldo!
Yo mama such a milf she deserves a tongue punch in the fart box
So I found out a rainbow is basically where a guy ejaculate In a females mouth and he swallows her period juice and they both kiss each other swishing it together in each other's mouth and it forms a rainbow and a strawberry shortcake is basically where a dude ejaculates on females face and then punching her in the nose Causing her to bleed that's why it's called a strawberry shortcake
What do my little brother and a vagina have in common?
They both ooze blood 🩸 when punched
1. If being ugly was a crime you would have a life sentence
2. My phone battery lasts longer than your friendships
3. There is a tree out there giving you oxegyn, and you owe that tree an apology.
4. I don’t hate you, but I gotta unplug your life support to charge my phone.
5. When I saw your dad on the side walk I didn’t laugh but the sidewalk cracked up.
6. If I had powers I would make you the dumbest person alive but it seems life already beat me to the punch.
7. If karma ever comes to punch ya in the face, I wanna be there to help it
8. If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart I’d be broke.
9. You are more disappointing than a cake without frosting
10. Were you born on a highway cuz that’s where most accidents happen
11. Wow, that hurts, now I know how it felt when your mom said that to ya
12. Your the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo, and you may as well be the reason why the middle finger was invented
Why did the Orphan punch the other orphan?
Because the orphan broke his leg then had to get a retirement fund so then he farted and got 1m dollars in cash so then he started eating his toe jam and thought it tasted really good so he started selling it to taco bell then ate a cow all the sudden he was attacked by hangry aliens then game them some toe jam they loved it so they farted there way back up to space where they were eating Harold's fresh toe jam it was so good then one of the aliens ate there dog so had to go the dollar tree to get it out then started gagging on one of the aliens' 2 meter defeater and then the Orphan made out with the other Orphan and had a wedding at playground sharting happily ever after.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to be vaccinated. Vaccines need to be Chuck Norrised.
what is the difference between hilary duff and a computer? you only have to punch information into a computer once.
i saw a poor man and i gave him money and he said, nope i don,t need money so i gave him and he punch me for no reason.
A teenage guy is taking a girl to a dance. First, he goes to buy her flowers. But there’s a really long line at the florist. Finally, he buys them. Then, he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a really long line for that too. After a few hours, he gets the tux. That night, he picks up the girl and they go to the school for the dance. There’s a long line to get in that goes halfway around the school. A while later, they finally get in. They dance and talk for a while, then the guy gets thirsty, so he goes over to the table to get punch. There is no punch line.
