New Pronunciation Jokes

"9/11" or just "7-Eleven" to a Mexican person.

Say "urine egger" five times fast.

Spell fuzz.

Okay, F-U-Z-Z, which also, it sounds like "F U Z's."

What's the difference between saying "bloody" in America and in the U.K.?

In the U.K., it's a swear word.

In America, it's a family reunion.

What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an orphan?

An orphan is more capable of speaking clearly.

Say "Uranus" but take out the "ur."

Spell "I cup." It's funny.

uranus is pranouced ur anus

How to harass? Say it out loud but slowly. Split that word into, and it sounds like "her ass."

Say "invented" without the first "n".

I heard that Uranus is pronounced "yuuranus," but it reminded me of urine! 😆

"Ohh wing wing."

Say "sukki" 10 times fast.

Funny how Hawking rhymes with talking and walking and he can't do either. And first 4 letters of his Christian name spells step and he also can't do that.

GOTTVERDAMMT, Hans! I said, "Glass of juice," not "Gas the Jews!"

I had a disability where I kept pronouncing my "g" as an "r", so one day, I said I liked grapes. Of course, I pronounced it "I like rapes." I was kicked out of preschool.

I love Stephen Hawking jokes so much because they roll off the tongue so nicely.

The reason I love Stephen Hawking is because they roll off the tongue so nicely.

My mum once told me, "How do you spell Mississippi?" and I said, "Misisipi." But she said, "No, it goes mi-ss-i-ss-pp-i," and I laughed when she said "pp." Then she said, "Why are you laughing?" I tried saying, "You said pp," but I was laughing too hard.