Poker

Poker Jokes

Orphan

What’s one thing that an orphan can never get in poker?

A full house.

Orphan

Why can't orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.

I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.

Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.

Why do orphans like boomerangs? Cause they come back.

Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.

Girls are like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.

If you hit an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?

If you hit an orphan with a car, at least you don't have to tell their parents.

Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.

What does an orphan call a family photo? A selfie.

Why was the orphan a big success? Cause people say go big or go home, he only had one option.

Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.

What do orphans and blind kids have in common? They can’t see their parents.

Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt? Because they don’t know what a mummy is.

Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.

What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.

Gorilla

Where do gorillas get all the "pussy" from? The strip club, which is called "Poker Kong Night."

Orphan

What did the orphan poker player say to the elder?

“Will you raise me?”

Life

Life is like a game of poker, guys start by going with them clubs, ladies follow with a set of hearts, guys put down the diamonds, and before you know it you got a full house.

Pedophile

A pedophile is sitting at an empty poker table. An eight-year-old kid asked him if he could sit down. The pedophile says to the child, "Sure, let's play."

Orphan

Why can't orphans play poker?

Because they don't know what a full house is.

Orphan

Why can’t an orphan play games with a full house in them? Because they don’t know what a full house is.

Guy

A guy walks up to a girl. He says, "Hey, you want a poker? I’ve got one."

Tell

Stephen Hawking was incredible at poker, he had no tell whatsoever.

Jungle

Why can't you play poker in the jungle? Because there are too many cheetahs!

Jackass

My friend and I were playing Poker... And my friend also beat me with Jackass.

Butt

Why do butts always win at poker?

They always hold the best PAIRS!

Test

I aced my poker test...

My teacher asked me to reflect on my work, so I got a mirror...

A caffeinated vampire goes to sleep in a coffin...

Do you get my puns? No, because you can't seem to get a grasp on how bad they are...

Ex-wife

Why does my cheating ex-wife wear a colostomy bag?

She lost her ass playing poker...

Booty

Why was the booty so good at poker?

Because it always had a good PAIR.