What is a good night? Sleep tight, I have four.
I love going to sleep at night.
Why was the man running around his bed?
Because he needed to catch up on his sleep!
Why did Chad date the 9 yr old?
Because Stellas hot.
Why did the pillow cross the road?
Because his cousin's name was Koshin, and he didn't want to live anymore.
Why did the pillow cross the road?
To get to a mattress store!
Mom: You need to grow up. You're so immature.
Me: *glares* Get out of my castle....
Mom: It's a pillow fort.
Me: Why can't I have an imagination! ?
Mom: You're almost 19 years old.
Me: Not good enough... OUT!
What did the pillow say as it fell off the bed?
Oh sheet!
What did one pillow say to the other?
Nothing, meh, they just sang a song about a rogue chicken whose feathers had been sacrificed to make them.
Most people smother babies with love.
I smother them with pillows.
There were three boys on the top of a slide.
The first one went down yelling "gold!" and landed in a pot of gold. The second boy went down and shouted "pillows!" and landed in a heap of pillows. The final boy went down and shouted "weeeeeeeee!"
Why did the plum put sugar under its pillow?
So it could have sweet dreams.
I dreamed I was forced to eat a giant marshmallow, but when I woke up, my pillow was gone!
Have you heard about the corduroy pillow cases? They've been making headlines.
Yesterday in my dream I ate a ten pound marshmallow, when I woke up, my pillow was gone.
My wife told me I was immature. I just told her to get out of my pillow fort.
