Physical Ability jokes

Why do people in a wheelchair make bad jokes? Because they are bad at stand-up.

A man and a cow are stuck on train tracks, and there is a train in the distance about to hit both of them. A vegan sees this and tries to help. Who does he save, the man or the cow?

Neither. He isn't strong enough to lift either of them.

If Stephen Hawking had a FIFA card, he would have 99 dribbling.

I can measure the speed of an object, because I want to km/s.

Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.

Chuck Norris once stepped on a Lego.

The Lego broke in half.

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect 4 in only three moves.