Pedophille jokes

what did the pedophile say to the kid?

"Roses are red, my name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van."

Two gay guys, two lesbians, and two pedophiles have a race.

What is the order of finish?

1. Lesbians. Doing 69 the whole way.

2. Pedophiles. Coming in a little behind.

3. Gay guys. Still packing their shit.

What does a pedophile mostly pound on a piano?

A minor.

My girlfriend called me pedophile today.

Big word for a 12-year-old.

Say what you will of pedophiles, but you can't ignore their problem with immature ejaculation.

What shoes do pedophiles wear? White vans.

How do pedophiles fit in? They force it to go in.

How do you make a 16 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile comes in.

What did Santa say when he was passing over some hookers? "Ho ho ho!"

What's the one good thing about pedophiles? They slow down near schoolzones.

What sort of file turns a one inch hole into a two inch hole?

A pedophile.

What's a pedophile's favorite type of shoe?

White Vans.

Why do rapists and pedophiles never win a race?

Because they always like to come in a little behind.

Q: How are Clocks like Pedophiles? A: They both stop at 12.

What do Civil War veterans and pedophiles have in common?

They both prefer Minnie (mini) balls.

Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes.

Not done yet.

Now they are.

What does a pedophile and a light switch have in common?

They both get turned on by children.

What’s one good thing about pedophiles?

They drive slow in school zones.

Q: What's a pedophile's favorite place to eat?

A: Schools because there is a wide variety of choices.

I have a question: Does aging affect corpses, too?

Just asking to know if I still count as a pedophile or not!

Q. What do you get when you cross a mentally disabled person with a pedophile? A. Jeffy Epstein.

What kind of club is every parent afraid of their kid joining?

The Mikey Jackson club.

How do you spell the name of the most dangerous pedophile?

M-I-C-H-A-E-L J-O-S-E-P-H J-A-C-K-S-O-N

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a dead pedophile? Nothing.