Me: Mom, should I kill the main character in the book I'm writing to make things more interesting?
Mom: Sure, honey! What type of book are you writing?
Me: It's an autobiography.
Someone went up to an orphan and asked him why he was talking to the air. He said he was talking to his mom.
If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
I would tell you an orphan joke, ehh Iβll just tell your parents instead.
Hey guys, it's Hailey here.
I'ma start off with henlo ;-;
I know you guys aren't going to believe me because of the assholes who were faking to be me, but if you can try to believe me, I'll explain.
So, Jake, we can't really be together anymore, since we no longer can chat. I'm so sorry.
Basically, my parents caught us on here as you realized. Yayyyy.
I don't have time to say anything else. So I've gotta go, but thankyou guys for everything you did for me.
Also, you won't get any response from me so yea. So sorry guys ;-;
What is cold and alone?
An orphan's parent.
What does Batman have that Superman doesn't?
The ability to visit his biological parents' grave.
Whatβs the only advantage of being an orphan?
Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.
What is the thing that orphans miss the most?
Their parents.
What is old, cold, and alone?
An orphan's parents.
Why can't orphans fail a test?
Because the teacher is gonna ask their parents to sign it.
Why can't orphans have sex?
They have nobody to call "daddy."
Guys, what do you call an un-aborted and parentless child?...
An orphan.
Why do my parents not love me? Because I've fucked 12 dogs and 7 minors while they were watching!
Why do orphans like boomerangs more than their parents? The boomerang comes back.
One day I saw a kid cry, so I go, "Let's go find your parents." I miss my job at the orphanage.
Why do orphans get lost on boats? They can't find the home room.
Why can't an orphan see their parents? Because there is mayo in his dick hole.
Father: I'm taking your toys to the orphanage.
Child: But why?
Doctor: I'm going to have to turn you away.
Orphan: But why?
Parent: My parents never attended my birthdays.
Birthday girl: Oh wow!
Parent: Anyone missing?
Birthday girl: Your parents.
Today, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face.
My parents are the worst.
Wanna know something funny? Well, there was this one time when my parents were talking about their marriage.
Then after the wedding, they decided to make a joke, and then 9 months later, I was born. My birthday (4/1/06) April 1, 2006.
